The Open Road.

I get it, I really do. New stuff is scary. New things are scary. New routes in our journeys and changes in life are frightening, to say the least. How we react to that fear is defining to how the next leg in the journey goes. Everyone reacts to fear differently. Lots of people don't even admit to being scared. I used to be that guy. I could do anything. I was pretty much invicible. (I still happen to believe that I am, impervious to everything except what ever ends my life, whenever that will be.) But being invincible made me arrogant, made me cocky. I moved from Lubbock to Pineville in 2005, and started leading the youth group. We started out as Project: Revolution, and there were nights that it was just me and two or three young people, but our ranks eventually swelled to 20-25 at times. It was scary to leave Lubbock, my home and family and everything I had known up to that point in my life, but I was 25 years old. I knew everything, (still do sometimes) and nothing could touch me. Fast forward to now, I am 34 years old, I am 5 years into my law enforcement career, and I have stepped away from youth ministry and toward.....who knows what. It's the first time in my life that I am not deeply involved in or in charge of a ministry. What I am headed to is unknown. 

Novels have been written about the adventure to the unknown. Songs have been sung and movies filmed. It's very romanticized. In reality, even with my cloak of invincibility, it's scary as all get out. When Jess and I made the decision, it was after much prayer and conversation. Conversation with each other, with our parents and our leaders, our pastors. Late night coffees and observations, and in the end, I was literally okay with both staying and fighting, or stepping back for a refocusing, a refreshing. So when the confirmation did come that this particular season of ministry was over, that I was to step away from the ministry, I was able to move forward with some confidence. I met with Pastor Nathan, and told him about the decision and it wasn't easy. See, I thought that since this decision was one that God led me to, it, and everything it entailed, would be easy. It wasn't. That meeting wasn't easy. Telling the youth group wasn't easy. And this past Sunday, which was my first as the ex-youth pastor of Christian Challenge, well, it wasn't easy either. It was hard. Any and all certainty that I might have had walking into Pastor Nathans office was gone before I even got up off the couch. I was looking out over a vast horizon, and it was doing nothing but staring right back at me. 

There will be bumps and bruises. It will not be easy. I thought because God chose the path for me that those things would not apply, but my thought process is being change to think that maybe those things are true BECAUSE God chose the path for me. Comfort never sharpened a blade. Mediocrity never slayed the dragon.

  Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)

  11 For I know the plans that I [a]have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

This is a journal I plan on keeping through this portion of the journey. Feel free to comment, or not. Either way. 

A great Story about Chicago and God making Dreams come True.

Psalm 37:4

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Just the other day I had a dream. In this dream I was attending some kind of conference in Chicago. There was some miscellaneous round about that happened that I don't quite recall and the dream was done. I made a quick post about it and that was that. I had always really wanted to see the big cities. Like REALLY, and especially now with that bug that's bitten EVERYONE else taking a chunk of my heart with photography, I REALLY want to see what's out there. When I was 13, I got this opportunity, but I didn't fully realize what was going on. A cross country straight drive from Lubbock Texas to Lansing Michigan was my idea of an awesome trip, but I ended up sleeping for a VAST majority of the trip. I think the only thing I may remember about Chicago was the interstate and an 18 wheeler getting majorly close. Also, my uncle had some kinda rad caffeine pills that he and my pop used to get the trip over with. Anyway, back to life. I posted this dream and Jessica and myself kind of get around to talking about the possibilities of getting up there sometime in our lifetimes. We reach the conclusion that as long as we don't have kids right now, we should try and accomplish all of the things that might be a bit harder with children in the equation. We decide one late evening that we are going to try to do this. A close friend of ours named Jenni see's the post and comments about how she went to a conference up there last year and how we might could try to go to THAT. I get all giddy about the possibility, but after talking prices and such, it still seems like such a far shot! So we really kinda strategize one night as the rain falls and come up with sort of half a plan. I'm going to talk to our pastor at the church about seeing if the church will send its youth pastor and Jr. High youth teacher to this conference. The upside would be that we go and pick up valuable insights on creativity and new up and coming worship bands and the like, the other side would be asking the church if they could possibly foot the bill for four tickets at the early bird registration reduced price giving US some time to pay them back for two of the tickets. I approach the pastor and he reacts favorably and says that he'll talk to the folks in admin at the church about this possibility. I'm feeling pretty good about this, but it's still in the back of my head.
I allow myself to dream a bit. I go to some Chicago websites and stuff, really just soaking it all in. I don't hear back from the pastor. I just let it lie. But it's back there, just kinda gnawing at my consciousness, Chicago, Story (the name of the conference we would be attending), the road trip, the never before experienced experiences we would experience. I'm getting excited about something that is by no means actually happening yet.
Cut to Tuesday, I am getting SLAMMED by allergies. I decide pretty early on during the day that I am just going to take easy as this is my last full day off before working a couple of night shifts. I get a call from Jenni about 1 in the afternoon. She says she has a story that I have got to hear. So I just listen. Here goes-----

She says that at last years conference they were taking donations for a project that would be undertaken for this year. Just this weekend, Jenni receives an e-mail stating that the project, for whatever reasons, isn't going to happen. The email states that they are refunding all of the donations that were made in light of this information. Jenni replies and tells them that if no one ever did anything that wasn't a sure thing, nothing great would ever get done! She tells them to keep up the good work and to keep the money. To this generosity, the person on the other end of the email replies with THREE FREE REGISTRATIONS FOR STORY 2012.

As she is telling me this story I can't stop saying how cool and awesome this whole situation is. I say it at least 30 times. No lie.
Now all we have to do is come up with ONE ticket!! WOOT!!!

I am blown away at God's proclivity to answering our hearts desires. Even those lost to the monotony of the daily grind. Those lost to the impossibilities of budgeting or scheduling. Even the desires that you just kind of wrote off as childish. God listens.  Ian Malcolm may once have said, "Life finds a way." But I am telling you right now, where there is absolutely no way to be found, God MAKES one.

The Firework and the Lighthouse.

If you had a choice, which would you be?

Which do you plan on being this year? 

The Constant, The Strong, The Steady. 

Firework, Katy Perry.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

You’ve heard me mention it before. This bubble gum feel good pop song by singer Katy Perry. This song has merit, believe it or not! But while it’s basically summing up what the world wants you to be and achieve, I want to talk to you tonight about being MORE. Be MORE than a flash in the pan, be more than a spark in the sky. We are going to look at a few folks in the bible and see which characteristics they hold, those of a firework, which as we saw tonight are beautiful and bright, noisy and flashy, but quick and fleeting, or those of a lighthouse, Strong, Steady, Constant.

First, list off to me, just by hearing the beginning of this message, people you might list in the “Firework Zone”. Folks who flashed bright and loud but disappeared soon thereafter.

“Firework Zone”

Now let’s talk about some folks who may fit into the other category, depending on the characteristics they portray.

First up to bat, one of my personal favorites, David. David has ALL the proper ingredients to be a firework. He is strong, after a couple of cool moments he became very popular, even more popular than the king of the time, Saul. I would say that it’s kind of like being more popular than the president now a days, but in all honesty, it’s not that hard to do that. Especially with todays media, the internet, and social sites.  David was a warrior of the people. He literally rose up from the smelly sheep fields to royalty! He was the kind of person that Saul wanted to have around! David was charismatic, he was an honorable warrior, but then something happened, David got more popular than SAUL! Maybe David does fall in the firework category after all! But maybe not, let’s take a look at another couple of folks and see how this ends up.

Next up we have Joshua, he was Moses’ sidekick. He was used to playing in the back ground, being the shadows. Moses was the leader, Moses was the chosen one! Moses was…. DEAD. All of a sudden. He just was NO MORE. Joshua was chosen by God to continue leading the people of Isreal to the promised land. This was Joshuas chance to be a firework. To have the shot at being remembered for a short time for one cool event, or one flashy show. However, before he even gets the chance to do this, God kind of pre-empts his ability to do that with his introductory speech to Joshua as Joshua gets ready to take the reigns of this ENTIRE nation. 

Let’s see this exchange in Joshua 1.

Joshua  1
Joshua Installed as Leader

 1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: 2 “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites. 3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west. 5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

 7 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

 10 So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: 11 “Go through the camp and tell the people, ‘Get your provisions ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.’”

 12 But to the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh, Joshua said, 13 “Remember the command that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you after he said, ‘The LORD your God will give you rest by giving you this land.’ 14 Your wives, your children and your livestock may stay in the land that Moses gave you east of the Jordan, but all your fighting men, ready for battle, must cross over ahead of your fellow Israelites. You are to help them 15 until the LORD gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land the LORD your God is giving them. After that, you may go back and occupy your own land, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave you east of the Jordan toward the sunrise.”

 16 Then they answered Joshua, “Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. 17 Just as we fully obeyed Moses, so we will obey you. Only may the LORD your God be with you as he was with Moses. 18 Whoever rebels against your word and does not obey it, whatever you may command them, will be put to death. Only be strong and courageous!”

What repeating phrase do you hear in this passage over and over? It’s one you should be familiar with since I have brought it up in this class again and again! “Be Strong and Courageous!” Let’s move on and come back to this in a bit.

Here’s a name you may be familiar with especially in light of VERY recent events. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow has ALL the prerequisites to be a firework. To be a flash in the pan.  A one hit wonder.  But you know what? Even if Tim Tebow NEVER plays another game of football in his LIFE, the effects of his life will last longer than the memory of his name. The impact that he has had to COUNTLESS people throughout his lifetime will continue to shine REGARDLESS of the fact that his football career took a BIG hit yesterday night at the hands of Tom Brady. This world would LOVE for him to be EXACTLY what they want YOU to be, and that IS a one hit wonder, a flash in the pan. Baby, they WANT you to be a firework. They WANT you to be a one and done! You know why? Because they want you to be WASTED on the temporary pleasures and vices that THEY are victims of. They want you to be chasing the next big thing, they want you to need to hear the next big hit, and watch the next big movie (an example of which I am CHIEF offender) and anticipate the next product. They WANT you to think that happiness is to be found in these temporary products. But if your roots are DEEP. If your flames are STRONG, you will find a stability and a strength to continue through every phase and fad and style.

Fireworks are AWESOME. I love them! Anyone who knows me knows this fact! They are literally one of my favorite money wasters. But they are over entirely to quickly! Big? Yep! Loud? Yep! Bright? Yep! Beautiful? Yep! But when it comes to longevity, they leave QUITE a bit to be desired.

But let’s go back to talking about the three fellas we mentioned earlier. When David is told that he is going to be king, what does he do? Does he call up TMZ and go all Paris Hilton on us? Waste a fortune that’s not even his, make a fool of himself? No! He keeps doing what he’s always done! He keeps that steady burn. He keeps that strong steady courage. Why? Because if he WOULD have gone to the TMZ of the times he would have probably been the next on the list of Kings with the shortest tenures in the history of the world! He would have just been another 15 minutes of fame story. A Spencer and Heidi story of the Donkey and Carriage era.

Now let’s talk about Joshua again. We already know he had all the makings of being a one hit wonder! New president! New leader! How many times have we seen someone do something stupid in that position!? FAITH DON’T POINT AT ME! Remember how many times God used the phrasing BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS?  4 TIMES! This is NOT the kind of speech that is designed for One hit wonders! This is not the kind of speech that is given to someone who is going to fizzle out, who is going to pop and be done. This is a command given to someone who is going to stick around. To someone that is going to stand the test of time. To someone who is going to be necessary over a long period of time. This isn’t the kind of thing that is read to someone who is eager to get on MTV and make a fool of themselves and make a mess out of their life to get a date with some random chick. THIS IS GOD GIVEN WISDOM TO STAY THE COURSE! TO NOT WAVER! TO STAND STEADFAST AND ROCK STEADY! To be the strong courageous kind of people that we need now in this land more than ever!!

Next up, MR Tebow. You know why he is on the firework list? Again, because he has all the proper requirements to fit into this field. Young popular, good looking, strong, leader, athletic, got a great smile and I could probably get lost in his eyes. Not because he is a hot young quarterback that I wish Washington would snap up! NO! Well, that last statement is true, but still. He is on this list because even tho his team got SMOKED last night, and his soul was blessing the Lord that the special guest he brought to the game could make it. See rather than surround himself with tabloid fodder like some of the other quarterbacks in the NFL, Tim surrounds himself with broken, sick people that need Jesus, and HE SHARES JESUS WITH THEM! They get the added bonus of hanging out with one of the most popular and polarizing figures in the sports world of today, but they also get something that the really need and may not even know it. They get ministered to. He prays with them at the special meal they get to go to before the game as his guests of honor. He prays with them if their situation requires them to be brought in on a bed and they have to watch from a box, high above the field. Tim Tebow is MORE interested in the fact that long after his stats are replaced, long after his name is forgotten on the field, it will remain as a link to the Savior for SO many people. His ministry will continue to reach out to folks long after he has passed. Not because he is investing in the future so that his name will remain, but so that hurting people will be loved and be accepted into our Christian family.

Maybe these guys have a little bit more in common with lighthouses than they do fireworks.

What is a light house?

What does it do?

It shines! It lights the way for ships that have wondered too close to the rocky shore and saves them from crashing on the rocks below. Lighthouses MATTER. They have to be made strong to weather the storms that come their way. Who knows where light houses are? On the shore. Did you know that when a storm comes in off the water it’s at it’s strongest at the shore? These lighthouses have to be made STRONG. A light house is NOT like a firework. It is NOT quick. It is NOT a one and done. It is NOT a fifteen minute spotlight fix. The oldest functioning lighthouse was lit on june 11, 1764! 1764! It is still going strong today! It has been working through storms, through lightning strikes and the like for 248 years. In comparison to fireworks tho, lighthouses are  like little teenagers to my old man. Fireworks have been around since the year 600!! But while you’d be hard pressed to find ANY fireworks that have survived even a FRACTION of that time, light houses stay up. In the most intense of circumstances. For far longer than the longest fireworks shows! The biggest ANNUAL fireworks show available to us here in the US is over in JUST 28 MINUTES! The amount of time it takes to watch ONE episode of FRIENDS!

Light houses, like this bonfire behind me, burn and burn and burn. They are built to last. They were designed to carry the fire, to keep the light. Fireworks do what they were designed to do, POP! Now some of you may be thinking, “What if I was designed to be a firework?” I can tell you right now, YOU ARE NOT. You may have all the ingredients to be one, but guess what, you were made IN GODS IMAGE! We were made in the image of the most constant one of all time! Every light house has the potential to go the way of the firework. You know, loud bang, bright flash, rapid consumption of fuel in spectacular fashion, BUT, with the proper upkeep and maintenance, lighthouses do what they were DESIGNED to do. Because a light house that acts like a firework is a failure. A lighthouse that fulfills it’s design is considered not only a thing of beauty, AND a success, but a hope. A protector. A guard. A preventer of disaster. A salvation of sorts. This is what YOU were designed to do. You were not designed to be a flash in the pan, a 15 minute waste. You were not designed to be done in a few short seconds of flashy noise. You were designed to persevere. To LAST. To be remembered. If not by name then by the result of your being. The children of the orphanage carry with them the seed of fire that has been fertilized by YOUR presence and love, and example. When they go on fulfilling their purposes, YOU go with them. They are strong and courageous as a result of your strength and courage. Your footprint goes on even  if you don’t! AND GOD GETS THE GLORY! LIVES ARE CHANGED. BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T DO WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF YOU, WHAT THIS WORLD WANTS YOU TO DO SO VERY BADLY. People are loved who have no love at all, people are given hope who have got not hope at all! People are stood up for who can not stand up for themselves!! This is the difference between the firework effect and the Lighthouse effect. YOU SHINE. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS, STAND FIRM!! TAKE THIS YEAR AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT! 

Blood in the Sand. Dream Sequence 10-18-2011.

They almost passed the tiny islands up on their way to the coast. Massive ships just a few miles off the horizon. Unknown markings. We all thought they would just keep going until we tried to use the phones, nothing was going through. No radio or television signals were coming in or going out. The troop transports got as close as they could to the placid shores of our tiny islands. Their landing craft had no resistance coming onto our beaches. Those on the beach watched in awe as thier doom and troops with unknown markings and uniforms took the beach, then thier lives. The gunshots were unmistakable in the cool morning air. The smell of the salt in the ocean tainted with cordite and something else. The metalic smells of blood and charred flesh.

They took the beach easily. They forced their way into the town that was just beginning to line the streets and stand in their front yards in response to the shots that had the seagulls in an uproar. Stunned citizens were pushed, and if they didn't comply, they were shot. It didn't take long to learn. The small island town and all of it's surrounding islands and properties were taken in about 2 hours. Anyone in uniform was shot on sight. Firemen and police officers alike lined main street like a stalled parade. The town was taken so quickly that anyone off duty was at the high school football field and under troop supervision in mere minutes.

The people of our small town were escorted by troops who were carrying a newer version of the AK-47. It caught my eye as I met up with the other off duty officers on the field. The troops filled the bleachers on both sides and lined the track that circled the field. It was a sight to behold for those of us that were still taking it in.

They processed us all fairly quickly and held the rest of the police department. We were led to the beach and lined up in front of the Wooden shower house on the beach. The bodies were still there, having laid in the cool morning as our town was invaded. The blood soaked into the sand and pooled on the wooden walkways here and there. The smell was stronger here. They ordered us to bring in our weapons, they had the forms from city hall that served as registry for our town, indicating who owned what. They made us kneel. They put four of us against the wall and aimed four rifles at us. The rest had to watch. Their language screamed out, "Ready- Aim- Fire!" and the shots rang out. Two of the riflemen held their fire and next to me bodies fell. I looked over at Pesser, the other officer that had been in that line, and back at the riflemen. In busted English their commander stepped forward and instructed us to return with every weapon in town by three PM to this same spot or we would be buried along with our fellow men. That our families would burn, that our children would drown. That anyone found with a weapon in their possession would be publicly murdered. It was our honor to prevent that, to protect as we had sworn. As they were speaking their radios began to sqwak excitedly as chatter began to flow. Their faces lit up with joy and they all begn cheering, at this they turned and left. The rest of us gathered, and began the slow work of the day. Our friends bodies were still warm in the sand, and the sun had barely peaked in the sky. It would stink when we returned in three hours.

There were troops everywhere. In gas stations, in grocery stores, at different intersections in our small town. They surrounded an overturned school bus that was a smoking heap of wreckage. The back tires had been blown off. As we looked over the forms over the various stops we were going to have to make and plotted the quickest way to go around town we saw names and addresses that we knew. Places that we had served and protected for years. At each house we stopped at we were met with accusing eyes. Sometimes the owner theirself would hand over the weapon, at others the recently widowed spouses would give them over to us. Everywhere we were questioned as to why were were privy to this. We were all asking what had happened. The troops were all in a much better mood. It was obvious something huge had happened.

After we rounded up all the weapons we returned to the spot as we had been instucted. The police weaponry all lay in open boxes that resembled long metal caskets. I saw that they had a rubber gasket around the rim. There were three of them, two of them were full. The third was for the weapons we had confiscated around the town. We filled it and then the remaining weapons were destroyed on the beach. The smell stung our eyes. The breeze from the ocean was moving it, but slowly.

The troops commanded us to pick up the containers, and then led us to a landing craft. We boarded and closed and sealed the containers. We were led out about one mile and then we dropped the containers overboard. As the transport continued out toward a larger troop ship on the horizon, the seven of us that were left alive were told, in broken English again, that the farther out we got, the less chance of survival we had. Taking our cues we jumped from the ship. It wasn't too much longer and a couple of shots rang out, sounding much different than the automatic fire we heard earlier that same day, and spray hit us as bullets whizzed by. Then there was nothing but to swim. Six of us made it to shore. No one saw when Mendez had gone under, but he had. We collapsed on the wet sand and stayed there. It was 5 pm. The invasion of the islands had taken less than 12 hours.

Flyers littered the ground on the way home, on them was a simple message, "Continue life as you always have. Do not resist. Continue life as you always have."

When I arrived home that night, the front door of the house was kicked in and the house was eerily empty. Dread filled me from toe to top. But what I dreaded to find I did not. Jessica was no where to be found. My wife was gone. I searched the streets for her until dark and some troops found and beat me and dropped me at the nearest house. "Ca-few!" they yelled. Over and over and I yelled that I just wanted to find my wife. They left me bloodied on the front step of Hannah Gagnards house. I wasn't found until the morning.

The following morning I knocked on her door. She opened it with some trepidation and saw me lying on her porch. She helped me up and inside and tended to my wounds and asked me about Jessica. I told her I didn't know. She said that she hadn't heard from her mom, there was no way to communicate on the island right now. Her mom lived on the beach in a bay on the other end of the islands. The troops had hit us from all sides, so she had to have known something was going on. If Hannah was frantic, she was frantic on the inside. After three days of laying on Hannah's couch, I hobbled up and down the streets as best I could and yelled Jessicas name so many times that my voice left me. Soon all I could do was whisper to others and hear their own stories of loved ones that had been missing since that day. The island was tiny, but no one knew where they had been taken. No one even remembered losing them in the chaos of that day. The only place we could think of was the high school. The elementary and the junior high were in the same small building. The high school was new and large. Plus the troops that remained on the island had built fortifications there, but why they would need the various assortment of men women and children that had dissappeared was a mystery to everyone. We had no idea the horror that lay ahead for those of us missing a loved one.

(at this point my dread trurned to confirmation, and i just knew that my wife was dead. i never found out for sure in the dream, but everyone just knew.)

Hannah and I decided to try and go to see her mother. We made our way across the island to the bay. I got delayed and when I found my way back to house, Hannah had already crossed the bay. There was smoke rising from the massive house on the beach on the other side of the bay. I jumped in and swam it. When I arrived on the shore I sprinted inside and began to look for the ladies. Jaune, her mother was carrying what looked like furniture that had been reduced to tinder. She had a huge fire burning in the inner patio of her house. It was piled high with what used to be priceless antique furniture.

She later told us that the soldiers came in and smashed everthing. They left the outside of the house perfect, but destroyed everything on the inside.

At this point in the dream, time passed, and suddenly I was speaking to some islanders about a theory of mine that stated there weren't as many troops on the island as we thought. That we could rise against them. Cut to four of us heading out to find the weapons in the ocean. I remembered that the containers were water proof and the area where we dropped them. We rode out in the dark. In secret on a rowboat. After a few over night trips and failures, we found the guns. The dream literally ended with us in a boarded up living room opening the containers. We had weapons, we had a plan, we had the means to fight. Buzzing phone, it's 0400. Time for work.

A Week Ago Today Update.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am going to be posting the final post which will have words from the mouths of the people who went on the trip. I had to track down a cd of Sundays service with them recorded. Just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten.
Thanks! Jon

A Week Ago Today. Friday.

This is our last day on site. It weighs in the back of everyone's mind to do all that we can. We are 2 people short as Andy is out with a shoulder that he aggravated destroying Sams computer yesterday. Ricky is still out with a stomach bug. The crew is strangely determined on the road to Joplin. We arrive at Sam's Place just after 0815. We start back on all the jobs that we left yesterday. Sam shows up and brings with him that inimitable spirit. That drive. That thing that gives me the utmost confidence that Joplin will continue going strong. The town and it's people have taken a hit, but it's getting right back up and moving on. He gets Josh and Joseph to help him out in the basement, where his life was saved just over 2 months before. He shows them the spot where he stayed with his hands over his ears for what seemed like an eternity. He stops several times to examine things that have been damaged, surveying, deciding what to keep and what to throw away. He gives Josh a couple of old books. The smell is overpowering and they all three must don face masks. They keep bringing up box after box of stuff, some staying, most going. The guys that have been working on the backyard are keeping a great pace. It creeps into my mind that maybe we won't finish today. But we all decided early on that we were going to finish what we came to do.
The morning ends rather quickly, and suddenly we're back at the high school for our last lunch there. I see a guy with a shirt that has a ministry name and logo on it strike a match and light a cigarette. I shake my head at what I think is an incorrect picture. However, after lunch as I ask around as to who the owner of the ministry that is providing the lunches for all the volunteers is and I am pointed in HIS direction. I begin to taste a little bit of my own size 10 shoe. I walk over to hand an envelope with a donation to him, and I note an elderly woman talking to the founder. She keeps questioning him about something, I am trying not to intrude, but being outside in a relatively small area I can hear that she is crying and asking about cost of something, and insurance worries. He keeps telling her that the shed they are going to provide her is completely taken care of. Their ministry is going to all the ravaged homes and picking up any reusable wood and making storage sheds for them. They are putting solar panels on them for power, since much of the city is still without. They are providing them to anyone who has had a house demolished by the storm as quickly as they can get them made. The list is long. She then asks how she is supposed to get the shed to her land, and he tells her that it is taken care of, as long as they have her address, she will have a shed, at this she bursts into tears and thanks him over and over. I stand back as she hugs the owner, whose name I can't recall, and he just holds her and comforts her, and I just stand back and watch this pure ministry. He may have a habit that disagrees with me, but this has shown me a bit of something else; just because someone doesn't come in the cookie cutter image of what WE think they should be doesn't mean that God won't use them in a mighty way. (I included that little bit because due to the work that I do it's become VERY easy for me to box people up in neat little categories and write them off, and God showed me here that I still have SO much to learn.)
I get the crew back to the work site and the fact that we actually have a deadline today sets in. If this crew was a group of fighters before, they are absolute WARRIORS today. They tear into each job that they have been assigned with a fervor that I have never witnessed. They aren't doing it for pay, or for recognition, they are doing it to help a man they have known for mere hours. We all are MOVING. Bricks are flying and piled and thrown away. The mortar is piled and shoveled and thrown. Wheelbarrow load after wheelbarrow load is piled high and disposed of. I literally have to pull people to take breaks. To drink water, to get something in their system. It's the coolest of our 4 days on site but their shirts are the most drenched that I have seen them. They take short breaks and even as the clouds gather over head (the first in more than a few days, Sam tells us) the sweat flows. We're working like madmen trying to get as much done as possible. A man drives up and asks if we can sweep off his foundation next door, Josh jumps on that with Ian and Will. The rest of us are either helping Sam or clearing his back yard. The huge pile of bricks is gone and the deck is disassembled. The trash has been raked from his place and the curb is full of all of his belongings that were too big for him to mess with on his own. Young lady and Man alike, all are FILTHY and the sweat leaves little mud tracks down their faces and arms and legs. Shirts that started the day stark bleached white are brown to the last thread. Shorts and pants are sweat through everywhere and dirty from the dirt. Then, right at three oclock, on the button, a bright flash of lightning splits the sky and after a few seconds thunder shakes the ground. We survey the yard and side lot, every bit of what we could have accomplished is done. The only thing really left is for Sam to continue to sort through the belongings that are all on his foundation covered in tarps or in his basement. We begin to contemplate leaving, the circumstance being that we are on the upslope of a hill and being the tallest things in a 2 mile radius. As tho punctuating our reluctant decision to call it a day, lightning strikes even closer and the thunder is IMMEDIATE and amazing. The power behind these things is no longer lost on me. We all say our goodbyes to Sam and get handshakes and hugs in return. His last words to us are cut short by another booming, blinding display from the sky and rain starts to fall. As he turns to leave he tells us that this is the first rain they have had in weeks. As we board the van we can see for all around the dryest dirt rising from the ground as the rain hits. The deluge begins. We head home.

We arrive at the church just before the storm. We all opt to stay at the church and get some rest that night, and we have another worship time and go around the room talking about the things that the Lord has shared with us on this trip. I am humbled and amazed at the things that this group shares. I will try and get some of the youth to send me a small piece on what they learned and shared and get it on here for you. We start to get  everything loaded up into the van except what we will need in the morning. The elation that we will get to see our families and friends tomorrow are dampened only by the fact that we all (to the last person) wish that we had more time here. More time with Sam, or Mr. Smith his neighbor. With the Atteberrys. Even after I watched them give their all, this group still wants to give more. I could not be more proud. Our God is such a Good God. We hit the hay. Sleep comes quite easily.

A Week Ago Today. Thursday.

Thursday morning we wake early, to get out to our new site and get a good full days work in. The morning starts off fairly easily! Until breakfast. Haha! Ricky unfortunately picks up the herky jerkys in his gut and begins visiting food again. We head into Joplin, and try to make it and see if Ricky gets to feeling any better. He does not. He vomits a couple times. He looks bad. He heads back to the church with Jenni in Panda 2 (Both of the vans on the trip are white with tinted windows and have earned the nicknames Mama Panda and Baby Panda from the Mexico Girls. Josh and Myself utilize slightly manlier terms with Panda 1 and Panda 2, but even so, you can't get too manly with PANDA being your moniker) and the rest of us get to work on our next project. The removal another deck, the sorting and restacking of usable bricks for sale or reuse, and possibly item sorting, removal and throwing out, if the owner can make it. He has not returned to his house for 45 days. With the enormous task set before him and the emotional devastation that comes with this type of disaster, it's kind of impossible to know where to begin. His sister and brother in law show up first, after we have begun our work. They tell us a little bit about Sam, the owner of the house. He is an Art Teacher at a local school. There are bits of pottery and clay all over the place. Paintings are ripped out of their frames and strewn about the lawn and foundation of his house. We start on his deck, he wants to keep the lumber and anything that can be reused. Bricks need to be broken from the mortar, there is a pile four feet high and about 20 feet around that a group of people get to work on. Hosanna, Joy, Nicole, Hope, they are the brick breakers. The others get to hauling more brick to them from all around the property, Nora, Will, Mary, Austin, Ian, Andy, these are my earth movers. They haul everything from bricks to dirt to garbage and ANYTHING that needs to be moved from one end of the lawn to the other. They help, one by one or in small groups, with the wood that is coming off of the deck.
Suddenly up walks a man with a warm vibrant smile. Sam has arrived at his house for the first time in over a month and a half. He stops here and there as he walks up the makeshift path that cuts across his driveway and where his garage used to be, picking up pieces of his life, tossing some, putting some on the foundation of his home for later sorting and safe keeping.  As he walks up, he shakes hands with everyone and thanks them, telling us all a bit about himself and what happened. Through out the day we learn what his experiences were and how his communications from the city have been since the day of the tornado. There is much confusion, there are contractors going around trying to bully people into bulldozing their land, yammering on about deadlines and fines and fees. There are family members that are still have trouble communicating with those that lived near here. He's not a tear-dripping mess, I am sure he had those days, who wouldn't? No, today Sam is a man determined to continue putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. He tells us a bit about the neighborhood and who lived here and there, this family was doing well, and this man was on the first floor of his house while his wife was trapped downstairs. A teacher lived here and a professor lived there, they are rebuilding and they are not, that lady bull dozed immediately and so forth and so on. We are working together with him as he coordinates us to further be helpful to him. A suburban drives by with Koolaid and cookies, then a church van with water, gatorade and sandwiches, then another car with lemonade, then the red cross truck drives up with hydration and snacks. The people here are all eager to help those who have come to help them. We hear "Thank You" over and over again. But these snacks and accolades and acknowledgments are not why we came. We came for the Atteberry's. We came for Sam. We came to help in anyway we can.
About midway through the day, we lose Joseph. A wheelbarrow full of bricks falls on his ankle and Joy. Not ON Joy, but her feet and legs too. She turns out fine, but Joseph tweaked his ankle some and so we send him home in Panda 2 as well. Ice and rest is the rest of his day. Sam gets rid of an old computer and lets the Destructo Boys tear at it. Sam doesn't want any of his personal info to be accessible from the computer so he hands the boys the CPU and a Pick Axe. They pull an Office Space on that poor machine. The day goes on through lunch, and we return, board after board are coming up and there is a one gallon pitcher filling up with screws. The work is tough, and the sun is beating down on our heads, but we are hydration MACHINES. We are keeping cool when we can, which is rough going because every single shade tree they had was ripped apart by the storm or uprooted by dozers afterword. The day comes to an end and there is still much to be done.
Upon arrival back at the church in Mount Vernon, our home base, I make contact with the volunteer center and get the okay just to head right back out to Sams Place in the morning. This is when Jenni calls us over to her computer, she's pulled up a picture of Sams Place on google earth. We are all floored all over again as we see what once was and remember the barren dirt and concrete neighborhood that we left today. It's a brand new slap in the face of the ridiculous destructive power of these storms. We are awed. We are hushed.
We heat some leftovers for the young people and Jenni, Nora, Josh and myself all head out to a Taco dive just up the road. I LOVE THIS PLACE. It's called Taco Palace and they serve these HUGE tacos. Josh and I each get one and an order of their Super Nachos. It's money well spent. The ladies ask what is good there, and the reply comes that their taco salads are famous and best sellers, with that info the ladies each order one. We all enjoy a great meal and upon exiting the restaurant, we see that it only opened that same month, a couple of weeks before. I hope it stays around. We all laughed because it seemed funny hearing the cooks talk about their food like it had been selling for years! As Nora put it, "It's all in the attitude!"
We arrive back at the church after a stopping by a truck stop for some supplies, namely a lock that I cost us on the trailer. We got to the church and gathered all the youth for a time of worship and a small devotion. I read to them out of 1 Corinthians 13 verse 11- When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
I let them know that I had not witnessed a single childish act this entire trip, and that seeing them break sweat and bleed for these people that they had never met literally brought tears to my eyes. I had not brought a group of children, but of mighty fighters who would fight for these people in whatever manner was fit. I was looking out over the finest group of people that my eyes had seen assembled. They didn't choose the childish self entertaining ways of water parks, or concerts, but to come and work. There was a time and a place for those things for all of us! Sure! But it was not time for that. It was time to stand for these people that had nothing left to stand on but faith, and it was time to help. I could not be more proud of this group. Even now, a week later, my heart swells. I call to them to continue this way of thinking, acting and living when we return home, because it's easy to do when you're out in a new place, doing new things, seeing the fruits of your work in the smiles and gratitude of those you are helping, but it is another thing to seek these things out when you are at home, and everything is normal.
We break up after prayer, and sleep. Another early day tomorrow.

A Week Ago Today. Wednesday.

Day three. I get up around 0715 and get ready to head to the nearby town of Aurora MO to retrieve the part that has been ordered for us. I am feeling pretty good. It's been a little bit of a rocky start for our crew with the van giving us the scare on Monday night and then the late start due to the same on Tuesday morning. I planned on having the part back to a waiting Josh and Uncle Johnny and getting the brand spanking new chunk of metal into the van and being good to go by about 0845 or 0900. I make the drive in the beautiful rolling countryside of Missouri, passing ancient little towns of 2 and 300 with their town churches. Old beat up ford trucks parked in front of the town markets and little gas stops on the way. I really loved that morning drive, the sunrise casting a beautiful sepia colored hue over everything and the shadows playfully laying on the hills. In the distance a tractor rolls out of a huge red barn. I don't know why, but I absolutely love all of this. It's a bit like traveling back to a simpler time. I arrive at the Ford Dealership after asking a group of folks all out on their morning smoke break in the shadow of a grain elevator, they all point in the same direction and holler the same set of instructions, you would have thought the choreographed it! They catch the humor in it too and chuckle good naturedly as turn around and head out.
I ask the pretty lady at the reception desk where to go and she points me down the stairs, all smiles, and the fellas in the parts cubby are happy to see me. They're scanning in the part as I walk up and they say graciously offer thanks for our help in the clean up effort even tho they all live about 45 minutes from where it happened, it's just that kind of community. Hands are shook and the deal is done. I head back to the church and enjoy the drive back even more. It does not dawn on me that our part was broken at a bracket that came off the piece and that the new part does not have this. I don't notice this because I am too ecstatic that the new part made it in time! That these people were so eager to help us out, that we are going to be 100% functional now!
I get back to the church and note with some displeasure that the van is indeed NOT disassembled and ready to go, so I track down the team at a local eatery waiting for their breakfast orders! They haven't even eaten yet! So I grab Uncle Johnny and Josh and we start back to the church, even before we reach there Josh informs me that this is NOT the part that we need. I realize it immediately upon actually EXAMINING the part, and am crushed. I feel like an idiot, I was ready to get onto Josh for not having things ready to go, and that actually ended up SAVING us time. So the youth get back from breakfast little by little and I let them know the situation. Words are not adequate enough to convey the feeling of failure that I am feeling at this moment.
The group takes it all in stride and wonder only one thing. How long will it take us to get into town? I remind them that we ran the van pretty easily without the trailer yesterday and it did fine, and so we should be able to do the same thing today. We load up and I give Jenny the part to take back to the nice people at the Ford Dealership. I call ahead to let them know that it's the wrong part and that it's coming back to them. Jenni tells me later that they took it back with no hassle at all. We head straight back out to The Atteberry's house after a quick stop off for tools at the church to a startling discovery... A large backhoe is literally in the act of demolishing the house for clear out. Josh approaches the driver to find out what is going on, turns out that the Atteberry's have contracted out their house to be leveled. We start to work on the deck after the back hoe is off the property, but he comes back and says that he is going have 2 bulldozers come and clear the property that same afternoon. We head back to the church for a new assignment. The lady at the front desk is alarmed when I tell her that the backhoe has started the work. She asks if I cleared the backhoe worker to demolish. I ardently let her know that I did not. He was already working on the house when we arrived. There is a bit of confusion as we sit at the church, eager to work but taking full advantage of the air conditioning in the church. By stroke of blessing, the lady at the front desk assigns us there at the church doing various jobs and moving this and that, the girls "palletizing" different things here and there, and generally helping anywhere and everywhere that we can. We learn that the high winds put a tree on the roof of this church and tore it up pretty good. They have a deadline of August 17 to get the entire building ready for their Private schooling in the fall. We help everywhere and anywhere we can. This church is a beehive of activity and we are all over the place, cleaning and moving and sorting. It's a fun afternoon that doesn't kill us. I think it was well needed. I can tell that some of the youth want to be out "helping people". I have to remind some of them that for whatever reason, we are at the church for that day and the things we are doing are necessary too. They have such incredible hearts, this group.
I check in with the coordinator to get an assignment for the next day and we get an address on Wall St. We all agree to head into town early the next day to get a head start on it! We will be disassembling another deck and cleaning his yard, sorting bricks and stacking things, also, we'll be helping the owner sort through his belongings and getting heavy stuff hauled to the curb if he is able to show up. He has not been back to his home in 45 days due to the enormous emotional impact that the devastation has caused him.
The drive home is a bit less uncomfortable than the day before since we aren't cooked to the core. Also, we head home a little bit later than usual due to the light duty. Jenni has found another way to feed us all deliciously and very economically! There is a full spread of fried chicken, gravy, green beans, mashed potates, corn, and rolls!! It is all manner of DELICIOUS! After pounding some food, everyone lets it settle and an impromptu ball game starts in the churches gym. After watching for a bit and seeing enough of Josh pretend to be Shaq on all these teenagers,  (LOL BTW, JUST LOL) I started looking through some books that the church has sectioned out of their book ministry and let us know that we can have whatever we can carry. I get a pretty good little collection going, put in a plastic bag under the far Basketball goal, away from the game, and the book ministry. I watch a little more as the youth engage in what can only be called no-holds-barred full contact tackle basketball. Hosanna tackles ANYONE with the ball, on her team or not, Austin holds his own against Josh-Shaq, and everyone is having a good time until Joseph goes sliding across the floor on his face. Everything is quiet and standing absolutely still. Then he starts laughing and it goes from good time to GREAT TIME! I exit quietly stage left and find a nice quiet spot to write in my journal and hang out till the end of the night.
Around 15-20 minutes later I am writing away and contemplating calling Jessica when the lights go out. I look up startled as I was pretty deeply immersed in writing, and note that there is no one in THIS section of the fellowship hall where I am sitting. I remember that there was going to be some activity in the church that night and know that there are multiple switches to the same room I am in. I shrug it off and walk over and turn the lights back on. I sit down, I put the pen to paper as is so soothing to me, and the lights go off again. I chuckle, I say "Hello?" and walk to the hallway toward the sanctuary, seeing nothing, I go back to the light switch and turn it back on. Then they go off again, even before I sit down the third time, the lights go out, so I quickly make my way to the hallway and turn the corner, to see a little girl of no more than 9 or 10 years of age standing at the end of the hallway. I see her freeze, and BOLT to the right. I wait. No parent comes around the corner, and so I turn the lights back on. This time they stay on.
I think that any child or young person that has grown up in the church has a story or two of having the good gollies scared out of you in a church building. I think I just became legend to one little girl.
Lights out again. But the guys actually stay up this time, telling jokes and just generally having a great time. It feels good to be laughing this week. I love these guys and this crew from top to bottom. We finally shut eye around midnight, wondering if the ladies heard us and were kept awake by our raucous laughter. Tired and happy, when sleep comes that night, later than usual, it's hits hard, and lands soft. We all cut out within seconds of each other. God has been so good to us all week. Every manner of problem that has presented itself has been remedied by His hand again and again. The snores come easy and bother none as we are all apart of a snoozy chorus. It's been a good day.

A Week Ago Today. Tuesday.

Early morning wake up. Alarm goes off at 0630. Wake up, get ready for the day. Walk outside and realize with some relish that we are not automatically drenched in sweat a la Louisiana. It's actually refreshing out. I get a call from Uncle Johnny on Rickys phone verifying our location and a mere 60 seconds later, he's pulling around the corner and to the van. Josh and I already have the hood up and the dashboard console out, and are looking at the problem again. Uncle Johnny walks over, takes one or two looks and starts disassembling this and that with his tool kit, it is MUCH more advanced than the one we have in the van. Pieces come off, this goes here, that goes there, and just a little moment later, we are ordering a replacement part from a Ford Dealership up the road in nearby Aurora, MO. Uncle Johnny reattaches the piece that we have under the hood and, just like that, we are road worthy again! We leave the trailer at the church and load up the youth, and coolers full of water and gatorade in the now fully functional van, Pastor Nathan's van, and Uncle Johnny's truck and set off toward Joplin. As we make our way through Joplin, we are all remarking on how the section of town that we are driving through to get to the Lutheran Church that is our base doesn't look very bad. Not bad at all. But then, I miss a turn (this would become par for the course, I think if anyone kept count of missed turns or exits the number would definitely be an embarrassing figure) and as we crest the top of a hill on 32nd street, we notice that Joplin turns from nice midwestern American town to barren wasteland. Everything was GONE. We didn't see it for very long, but we saw it. As we turned back, we made contact with the volunteer base. We get an address and a name, The Atteberrys. The project is the complete removal of the pool and deck, both of which survived remarkably. We drive out to the site where we will be working for the next couple of days, and the destruction laid out before us literally silences the van, there's gasps and "Oh my God"'s. The scope of demolition that is unfolding before us is absolutely mind numbing. If never before in my life have I been astounded, I am today. We get off the van at the proper address; guesswork at best, the foundations and basements are all indistinguishable from one another, it's just row after row of nothing. Tree stumps and dirt, basements and foundations, all leveled. The thought process in my mind is at a standstill. On a tv screen it looks bad, on big pictures in the newspapers it looks bad, in reality tho, there was no escape. Everywhere you looked there was debris, detritus of lives blown away, bricks and lumber splintered and piled, spray paint on the roads for directions and street names. As we begin our work, a tiny drop in the ocean of tear down and rebuild that need to happen for Joplin to continue, the mood gradually lightens and we take to our work with gusto. We want to help these people. We want to do more, and the only way to do more is to do what is in front of us. Chainsaws are going, the young and old alike are working with gusto. We have been given more than one speech on hydration, and through-out the day Josh is yelling to drink water. Different folks need to be told to go and take a break, to get a rest, to go and drink. The people in this trip have absolutely no quit in them.
Lunch time comes as a surprise, and we hear that the high school is a site for volunteers to be able to go and have free meals and cold water. I imagined a cafeteria setting. We set out. As we near the high school, we again are hushed by the magnitude of destruction that happened here in this tiny beautiful town. There will be no cafeteria for sometime. In some areas of the massive school the roof is completely gone and the walls have imploded. The windows are blown out and the area is completely fenced off. We get in line, some volunteers from other organizations are in line with us, they are from everywhere. Colorado, Mississippi, Vermont, Virginia, California, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas. My heart is warmed as I hear the different names and locations from where they come. All to help. There is no pay here, there is no overtime or bonus. There is just a hurting people who have had everything taken from them. We eat a hearty lunch and go back to the work site. We pass the entrance of the high school and see that the JOPLIN HIGH SCHOOL has been damaged. Only the OP remain from the city's name. But looking a little closer we see that someone has either spray painted or duct taped the letters H and E to the beginning and end of where JOPLIN was. Now it reads HOPE HIGH SCHOOL. Again, I am amazed at the spirit of the people here.
We make it back and finish out the afternoon. It is BLAZING hot. This is sort of a problem because after a hard days work, and needing to come back to finish in the morning, we find out that the Air Conditioning has gone from the van. We get home and I have had a shower, I call the Ford Dealership and verify that the part will be in tomorrow morning and the location. We get an AMAZING dinner of Pasta and meatballs and marinara sauce, garlic butter bread and of course water and gatorade. Jenni, Josh and myself make a Wal-Mart run for caps, bandannas and some other supplies we will be needing for the week. Day one on the jobsite was a success. I saw in these young people the want and ability to help, no matter the temperature or discomfort. As we arrive back home from the trip to Wal-Mart, we each settle from the day in our own ways, and begin to unwind. It has been almost a full day except for the late start we got due to the repairs on the van, tomorrow, I will have the new part, Uncle Johnny will put it in, and we will be all set... We ALL agree that it's about time to hit the hay! I set the alarm for the next morning to be able to go and retrieve the part that we need, and it's lights out.

A Week Ago Today. Monday.

Day 1 of the Joplin Relief Trip.
The stress didn't start today, it started a few months ago. I had asked the youth leadership and planning crew what they wanted to do for their summer trip. I tossed out a few options like concerts, conventions, and theme parks. But, in May, a tornado had ravaged the town of Joplin, Missouri. I will admit that I played around with the idea of a relief trip, but was far to unsure of my own leadership to suggest such a thing! Really, giving up an entire week of summer to go and work? And not even at the youth group favorite orphanage in Mexico? So, I kept it to myself. At the meeting though one of the youth, Ricky, spoke up and said that one of his close friends had lost friends of her own in the tragedy that befell Joplin. The reception was almost completely unanimous, and so we decided that I should take the idea of a relief trip in the week of Thanksgiving (to be able to completely plan and execute) to the next staff meeting. At the staff meeting, Pastor Nathan suggested that we do the trip ASAP! Given the nature of the trip, he felt it was not something we could put off. So after going back and forth a couple of times between him and the group, we settled on a week at the end of July, starting on the 25.
We started getting things ready, and of course, this was when the stress happened. I had never done ANYTHING like this in my life. Taking a group of young people to an Acquire The Fire convention is a walk in the park compared to something of this nature! I got in contact with different people here and there and sure enough, after a bit I had us registered with a volunteer group and staying at a church near the area. Time passed, and before I really knew it, I had 15 total people going in two vehicles to somewhere I had never been before to do something I had never done before. As the planning went, I thought we were going to be eating sandwiches and chips for lunch with bottles of water. THANKFULLY, Jenni Baier got involved with the trip and took over the logistics of it, and saved the day after day with meals and budgeting and about a million other things!
Josh Dupree, one of the older but still young people in the group was my copilot for the trip and Nora Fisher was the Life Jacket of Our Morale! Self title Grambo (Grandma-Rambo) kept our spirits up from start to finish! As we started on the road, we headed up 165 toward Monroe as the GPS told us to. Pastor Nathan called us back and told us to head up 167 to Shreveport and after this little bump we ran into no problems the first 95 percent of the trip. (I did notice in the middle of the day it seemed that we weren't hitting ANY of the little towns I had anticipated, and I checked the GPS against my iPhone, and we were going OUT OF OUR WAY to go to Little Rock!! After the anger checked out tho, I really started enjoying the BEAUTIFUL scenery of a land I had never visited til that day!) I had a little time to get used to pulling around an enormous trailer, but after about 2 hours of driving, I didn't even notice the pull it had on the van! But about one hour close to our destination, we were headed up the hills inherent to the area of Branson and Springfield, and Josh and myself heard a pop and a hiss and my foot went to the floor. The van lost 98 percent of it's power and we coasted to a stop on the side of the road. We looked at the tires first, thinking that we had blown one, but all of them seemed to be intact. Then we popped the hood, nothing LOOKED bad, so I revved the engine a couple of times, nothing! No problem at all! At least not until we started to drive, we started seeing an increase in the black smoke characteristic of a diesel exhaust system, and we weren't getting but up to MAYBE 25 MPH while going up these huge hills of the great state of MO. The van just couldn't find the power to pull the weight of the youth, and the trailer (stuffed to the gills with our supplies for a week of relief work) ANYWHERE! So we pulled off at a restaurant and tried to clear our heads a bit. The stress level for me was through the roof, but I had just spoken to the youth about Gods providence and how if HE called you to something He would provide the way to get there, the means to do it and the strength to carry it out. I used Peter walking to Christ on the sea as the prime example.
After dinner, Josh and I go out to the van and field strip it to get a better look at the engine. We removed the lower parts of the dashboard and backing to get access. I was texting and speaking to Vic Riscili back in Pineville, who, after listening to what I had to tell him about the van, said that it sounded like the Turbo was out. Well, given that all the experience I have had with cars was gas tanks and oil changes, I didn't have the slightest idea what to look for. After sending him some pictures and conversating, we had an idea of where to look, but were still as lost as could be. While Josh and I were outside with the van, two things were happening inside the restaurant that we were unaware of.
1. Ricky Gallagher was talking to his mother, who had gotten a call from Ricky's Uncle Johnny letting her know that he wanted to spend some time with his nephew and help out with some of the relief work. Uncle Johnny had quite a bit of knowledge in engines and working on them.
2. Nora Fisher was praying that the Lord send someone to help us out and get us on our way.

Cut scene back to two confused young men outside. In the parking lot of the restaurant, a trailer is waiting for it's rig, and suddenly, out of the growing darkness, a diesel pulls up and latches up with it in one fell swoop, it was kind of a thing of beauty! Josh see's this and say's, "Dude, this guy is a pro! Let's ask him what he thinks it is!" My thoughts at that moment were "Josh, he drives a rig, not a 15 passenger van, that's two TOTALLY different things! I don't wanna bother this guy!" but my brain stopped those words from spilling out of my gaping hole of a mouth when Josh said, "What have we got to lose?" I thought about it. We really didn't have ANYTHING to lose, here we were within an hours drive of our destination with 15 young people that had been on the road ALL day, so let's go over to this guy and ask. He tells us EXACTLY where the turbo is and how it sounds like that is the exact problem we are having! He confirms everything that Vic has been telling us but hasn't been able to really SHOW us. Then he drives off into the night, on a tight schedule.
It's not a problem that will bench us, but it will slow us down. With renewed hope, we set off into the night. Dark has fallen at this point and the hills were larger than ever that lay before us. We had to start "Sling-Shotting" the van down the hillsides to gain enough speed to make it to the top of the next hill!! It was a bit dangerous, but God kept his hand on us the whole way! We were exhausted as we finally pulled in to the church parking lot where we were staying and checked in. I had been really scared that it was going to be this poor little one room chapel with an outhouse and barely there electricity. Ahem. This was NOT the case. ALL of our spirits lifted when we saw our home for the next week. It was a BEAUTIFUL AG church in Mount Vernon, MO.  As the youth piled into the church and began to get set in their rooms, Josh and I worked on the van. Ricky stayed on the phone late into the night giving Uncle Johnny directions on how to get to the church. Josh and myself collapsed onto some army cots that were loaned to us by Terry Gilcrease for the trip. It was 0230 in the morning and we woke up at roughly 6:30 to be ready in time to see Uncle Johnny in the morning. I remember thinking that if we came up the way we thought we would with all the tiny towns, we may not have made it, the road was to small and curvy and hilly to get ANY momentum at all, and God had laid out the path that we took for a purpose too! Talk about PROVIDENCE! But all in all, this was JUST the beginning! As I closed my eyes I acknowledged that today was one of the longest days of my life.