Things in my head. A zombie blog. A Fighters Blog.

The Firework and the Lighthouse.

2012-01-19T10:11:00.000-06:00

If you had a choice, which would you be?

Which do you plan on being this year?

The Constant, The Strong, The Steady.

Firework, Katy Perry.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

You’ve heard me mention it before. This bubble gum feel good pop song by singer Katy Perry. This song has merit, believe it or not! But while it’s basically summing up what the world wants you to be and achieve, I want to talk to you tonight about being MORE. Be MORE than a flash in the pan, be more than a spark in the sky. We are going to look at a few folks in the bible and see which characteristics they hold, those of a firework, which as we saw tonight are beautiful and bright, noisy and flashy, but quick and fleeting, or those of a lighthouse, Strong, Steady, Constant.

First, list off to me, just by hearing the beginning of this message, people you might list in the “Firework Zone”. Folks who flashed bright and loud but disappeared soon thereafter.

“Firework Zone”

Now let’s talk about some folks who may fit into the other category, depending on the characteristics they portray.

First up to bat, one of my personal favorites, David. David has ALL the proper ingredients to be a firework. He is strong, after a couple of cool moments he became very popular, even more popular than the king of the time, Saul. I would say that it’s kind of like being more popular than the president now a days, but in all honesty, it’s not that hard to do that. Especially with todays media, the internet, and social sites. David was a warrior of the people. He literally rose up from the smelly sheep fields to royalty! He was the kind of person that Saul wanted to have around! David was charismatic, he was an honorable warrior, but then something happened, David got more popular than SAUL! Maybe David does fall in the firework category after all! But maybe not, let’s take a look at another couple of folks and see how this ends up.

Next up we have Joshua, he was Moses’ sidekick. He was used to playing in the back ground, being the shadows. Moses was the leader, Moses was the chosen one! Moses was…. DEAD. All of a sudden. He just was NO MORE. Joshua was chosen by God to continue leading the people of Isreal to the promised land. This was Joshuas chance to be a firework. To have the shot at being remembered for a short time for one cool event, or one flashy show. However, before he even gets the chance to do this, God kind of pre-empts his ability to do that with his introductory speech to Joshua as Joshua gets ready to take the reigns of this ENTIRE nation.

Let’s see this exchange in Joshua 1.

Joshua 1
Joshua Installed as Leader

1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: 2 “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites. 3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west. 5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

7 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

10 So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: 11 “Go through the camp and tell the people, ‘Get your provisions ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.’”

12 But to the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh, Joshua said, 13 “Remember the command that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you after he said, ‘The LORD your God will give you rest by giving you this land.’ 14 Your wives, your children and your livestock may stay in the land that Moses gave you east of the Jordan, but all your fighting men, ready for battle, must cross over ahead of your fellow Israelites. You are to help them 15 until the LORD gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land the LORD your God is giving them. After that, you may go back and occupy your own land, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave you east of the Jordan toward the sunrise.”

16 Then they answered Joshua, “Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. 17 Just as we fully obeyed Moses, so we will obey you. Only may the LORD your God be with you as he was with Moses. 18 Whoever rebels against your word and does not obey it, whatever you may command them, will be put to death. Only be strong and courageous!”

What repeating phrase do you hear in this passage over and over? It’s one you should be familiar with since I have brought it up in this class again and again! “Be Strong and Courageous!” Let’s move on and come back to this in a bit.

Here’s a name you may be familiar with especially in light of VERY recent events. Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow has ALL the prerequisites to be a firework. To be a flash in the pan. A one hit wonder. But you know what? Even if Tim Tebow NEVER plays another game of football in his LIFE, the effects of his life will last longer than the memory of his name. The impact that he has had to COUNTLESS people throughout his lifetime will continue to shine REGARDLESS of the fact that his football career took a BIG hit yesterday night at the hands of Tom Brady. This world would LOVE for him to be EXACTLY what they want YOU to be, and that IS a one hit wonder, a flash in the pan. Baby, they WANT you to be a firework. They WANT you to be a one and done! You know why? Because they want you to be WASTED on the temporary pleasures and vices that THEY are victims of. They want you to be chasing the next big thing, they want you to need to hear the next big hit, and watch the next big movie (an example of which I am CHIEF offender) and anticipate the next product. They WANT you to think that happiness is to be found in these temporary products. But if your roots are DEEP. If your flames are STRONG, you will find a stability and a strength to continue through every phase and fad and style.

Fireworks are AWESOME. I love them! Anyone who knows me knows this fact! They are literally one of my favorite money wasters. But they are over entirely to quickly! Big? Yep! Loud? Yep! Bright? Yep! Beautiful? Yep! But when it comes to longevity, they leave QUITE a bit to be desired.

But let’s go back to talking about the three fellas we mentioned earlier. When David is told that he is going to be king, what does he do? Does he call up TMZ and go all Paris Hilton on us? Waste a fortune that’s not even his, make a fool of himself? No! He keeps doing what he’s always done! He keeps that steady burn. He keeps that strong steady courage. Why? Because if he WOULD have gone to the TMZ of the times he would have probably been the next on the list of Kings with the shortest tenures in the history of the world! He would have just been another 15 minutes of fame story. A Spencer and Heidi story of the Donkey and Carriage era.

Now let’s talk about Joshua again. We already know he had all the makings of being a one hit wonder! New president! New leader! How many times have we seen someone do something stupid in that position!? FAITH DON’T POINT AT ME! Remember how many times God used the phrasing BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS? 4 TIMES! This is NOT the kind of speech that is designed for One hit wonders! This is not the kind of speech that is given to someone who is going to fizzle out, who is going to pop and be done. This is a command given to someone who is going to stick around. To someone that is going to stand the test of time. To someone who is going to be necessary over a long period of time. This isn’t the kind of thing that is read to someone who is eager to get on MTV and make a fool of themselves and make a mess out of their life to get a date with some random chick. THIS IS GOD GIVEN WISDOM TO STAY THE COURSE! TO NOT WAVER! TO STAND STEADFAST AND ROCK STEADY! To be the strong courageous kind of people that we need now in this land more than ever!!

Next up, MR Tebow. You know why he is on the firework list? Again, because he has all the proper requirements to fit into this field. Young popular, good looking, strong, leader, athletic, got a great smile and I could probably get lost in his eyes. Not because he is a hot young quarterback that I wish Washington would snap up! NO! Well, that last statement is true, but still. He is on this list because even tho his team got SMOKED last night, and his soul was blessing the Lord that the special guest he brought to the game could make it. See rather than surround himself with tabloid fodder like some of the other quarterbacks in the NFL, Tim surrounds himself with broken, sick people that need Jesus, and HE SHARES JESUS WITH THEM! They get the added bonus of hanging out with one of the most popular and polarizing figures in the sports world of today, but they also get something that the really need and may not even know it. They get ministered to. He prays with them at the special meal they get to go to before the game as his guests of honor. He prays with them if their situation requires them to be brought in on a bed and they have to watch from a box, high above the field. Tim Tebow is MORE interested in the fact that long after his stats are replaced, long after his name is forgotten on the field, it will remain as a link to the Savior for SO many people. His ministry will continue to reach out to folks long after he has passed. Not because he is investing in the future so that his name will remain, but so that hurting people will be loved and be accepted into our Christian family.

Maybe these guys have a little bit more in common with lighthouses than they do fireworks.

What is a light house?

What does it do?

It shines! It lights the way for ships that have wondered too close to the rocky shore and saves them from crashing on the rocks below. Lighthouses MATTER. They have to be made strong to weather the storms that come their way. Who knows where light houses are? On the shore. Did you know that when a storm comes in off the water it’s at it’s strongest at the shore? These lighthouses have to be made STRONG. A light house is NOT like a firework. It is NOT quick. It is NOT a one and done. It is NOT a fifteen minute spotlight fix. The oldest functioning lighthouse was lit on june 11, 1764! 1764! It is still going strong today! It has been working through storms, through lightning strikes and the like for 248 years. In comparison to fireworks tho, lighthouses are like little teenagers to my old man. Fireworks have been around since the year 600!! But while you’d be hard pressed to find ANY fireworks that have survived even a FRACTION of that time, light houses stay up. In the most intense of circumstances. For far longer than the longest fireworks shows! The biggest ANNUAL fireworks show available to us here in the US is over in JUST 28 MINUTES! The amount of time it takes to watch ONE episode of FRIENDS!

Light houses, like this bonfire behind me, burn and burn and burn. They are built to last. They were designed to carry the fire, to keep the light. Fireworks do what they were designed to do, POP! Now some of you may be thinking, “What if I was designed to be a firework?” I can tell you right now, YOU ARE NOT. You may have all the ingredients to be one, but guess what, you were made IN GODS IMAGE! We were made in the image of the most constant one of all time! Every light house has the potential to go the way of the firework. You know, loud bang, bright flash, rapid consumption of fuel in spectacular fashion, BUT, with the proper upkeep and maintenance, lighthouses do what they were DESIGNED to do. Because a light house that acts like a firework is a failure. A lighthouse that fulfills it’s design is considered not only a thing of beauty, AND a success, but a hope. A protector. A guard. A preventer of disaster. A salvation of sorts. This is what YOU were designed to do. You were not designed to be a flash in the pan, a 15 minute waste. You were not designed to be done in a few short seconds of flashy noise. You were designed to persevere. To LAST. To be remembered. If not by name then by the result of your being. The children of the orphanage carry with them the seed of fire that has been fertilized by YOUR presence and love, and example. When they go on fulfilling their purposes, YOU go with them. They are strong and courageous as a result of your strength and courage. Your footprint goes on even if you don’t! AND GOD GETS THE GLORY! LIVES ARE CHANGED. BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T DO WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF YOU, WHAT THIS WORLD WANTS YOU TO DO SO VERY BADLY. People are loved who have no love at all, people are given hope who have got not hope at all! People are stood up for who can not stand up for themselves!! This is the difference between the firework effect and the Lighthouse effect. YOU SHINE. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS, STAND FIRM!! TAKE THIS YEAR AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT!

Blood in the Sand. Dream Sequence 10-18-2011.

2011-10-18T13:11:00.002-05:00

They almost passed the tiny islands up on their way to the coast. Massive ships just a few miles off the horizon. Unknown markings. We all thought they would just keep going until we tried to use the phones, nothing was going through. No radio or television signals were coming in or going out. The troop transports got as close as they could to the placid shores of our tiny islands. Their landing craft had no resistance coming onto our beaches. Those on the beach watched in awe as thier doom and troops with unknown markings and uniforms took the beach, then thier lives. The gunshots were unmistakable in the cool morning air. The smell of the salt in the ocean tainted with cordite and something else. The metalic smells of blood and charred flesh.

They took the beach easily. They forced their way into the town that was just beginning to line the streets and stand in their front yards in response to the shots that had the seagulls in an uproar. Stunned citizens were pushed, and if they didn't comply, they were shot. It didn't take long to learn. The small island town and all of it's surrounding islands and properties were taken in about 2 hours. Anyone in uniform was shot on sight. Firemen and police officers alike lined main street like a stalled parade. The town was taken so quickly that anyone off duty was at the high school football field and under troop supervision in mere minutes.

The people of our small town were escorted by troops who were carrying a newer version of the AK-47. It caught my eye as I met up with the other off duty officers on the field. The troops filled the bleachers on both sides and lined the track that circled the field. It was a sight to behold for those of us that were still taking it in.

They processed us all fairly quickly and held the rest of the police department. We were led to the beach and lined up in front of the Wooden shower house on the beach. The bodies were still there, having laid in the cool morning as our town was invaded. The blood soaked into the sand and pooled on the wooden walkways here and there. The smell was stronger here. They ordered us to bring in our weapons, they had the forms from city hall that served as registry for our town, indicating who owned what. They made us kneel. They put four of us against the wall and aimed four rifles at us. The rest had to watch. Their language screamed out, "Ready- Aim- Fire!" and the shots rang out. Two of the riflemen held their fire and next to me bodies fell. I looked over at Pesser, the other officer that had been in that line, and back at the riflemen. In busted English their commander stepped forward and instructed us to return with every weapon in town by three PM to this same spot or we would be buried along with our fellow men. That our families would burn, that our children would drown. That anyone found with a weapon in their possession would be publicly murdered. It was our honor to prevent that, to protect as we had sworn. As they were speaking their radios began to sqwak excitedly as chatter began to flow. Their faces lit up with joy and they all begn cheering, at this they turned and left. The rest of us gathered, and began the slow work of the day. Our friends bodies were still warm in the sand, and the sun had barely peaked in the sky. It would stink when we returned in three hours.

There were troops everywhere. In gas stations, in grocery stores, at different intersections in our small town. They surrounded an overturned school bus that was a smoking heap of wreckage. The back tires had been blown off. As we looked over the forms over the various stops we were going to have to make and plotted the quickest way to go around town we saw names and addresses that we knew. Places that we had served and protected for years. At each house we stopped at we were met with accusing eyes. Sometimes the owner theirself would hand over the weapon, at others the recently widowed spouses would give them over to us. Everywhere we were questioned as to why were were privy to this. We were all asking what had happened. The troops were all in a much better mood. It was obvious something huge had happened.

After we rounded up all the weapons we returned to the spot as we had been instucted. The police weaponry all lay in open boxes that resembled long metal caskets. I saw that they had a rubber gasket around the rim. There were three of them, two of them were full. The third was for the weapons we had confiscated around the town. We filled it and then the remaining weapons were destroyed on the beach. The smell stung our eyes. The breeze from the ocean was moving it, but slowly.

The troops commanded us to pick up the containers, and then led us to a landing craft. We boarded and closed and sealed the containers. We were led out about one mile and then we dropped the containers overboard. As the transport continued out toward a larger troop ship on the horizon, the seven of us that were left alive were told, in broken English again, that the farther out we got, the less chance of survival we had. Taking our cues we jumped from the ship. It wasn't too much longer and a couple of shots rang out, sounding much different than the automatic fire we heard earlier that same day, and spray hit us as bullets whizzed by. Then there was nothing but to swim. Six of us made it to shore. No one saw when Mendez had gone under, but he had. We collapsed on the wet sand and stayed there. It was 5 pm. The invasion of the islands had taken less than 12 hours.

Flyers littered the ground on the way home, on them was a simple message, "Continue life as you always have. Do not resist. Continue life as you always have."

When I arrived home that night, the front door of the house was kicked in and the house was eerily empty. Dread filled me from toe to top. But what I dreaded to find I did not. Jessica was no where to be found. My wife was gone. I searched the streets for her until dark and some troops found and beat me and dropped me at the nearest house. "Ca-few!" they yelled. Over and over and I yelled that I just wanted to find my wife. They left me bloodied on the front step of Hannah Gagnards house. I wasn't found until the morning.

The following morning I knocked on her door. She opened it with some trepidation and saw me lying on her porch. She helped me up and inside and tended to my wounds and asked me about Jessica. I told her I didn't know. She said that she hadn't heard from her mom, there was no way to communicate on the island right now. Her mom lived on the beach in a bay on the other end of the islands. The troops had hit us from all sides, so she had to have known something was going on. If Hannah was frantic, she was frantic on the inside. After three days of laying on Hannah's couch, I hobbled up and down the streets as best I could and yelled Jessicas name so many times that my voice left me. Soon all I could do was whisper to others and hear their own stories of loved ones that had been missing since that day. The island was tiny, but no one knew where they had been taken. No one even remembered losing them in the chaos of that day. The only place we could think of was the high school. The elementary and the junior high were in the same small building. The high school was new and large. Plus the troops that remained on the island had built fortifications there, but why they would need the various assortment of men women and children that had dissappeared was a mystery to everyone. We had no idea the horror that lay ahead for those of us missing a loved one.

(at this point my dread trurned to confirmation, and i just knew that my wife was dead. i never found out for sure in the dream, but everyone just knew.)

Hannah and I decided to try and go to see her mother. We made our way across the island to the bay. I got delayed and when I found my way back to house, Hannah had already crossed the bay. There was smoke rising from the massive house on the beach on the other side of the bay. I jumped in and swam it. When I arrived on the shore I sprinted inside and began to look for the ladies. Jaune, her mother was carrying what looked like furniture that had been reduced to tinder. She had a huge fire burning in the inner patio of her house. It was piled high with what used to be priceless antique furniture.

She later told us that the soldiers came in and smashed everthing. They left the outside of the house perfect, but destroyed everything on the inside.

At this point in the dream, time passed, and suddenly I was speaking to some islanders about a theory of mine that stated there weren't as many troops on the island as we thought. That we could rise against them. Cut to four of us heading out to find the weapons in the ocean. I remembered that the containers were water proof and the area where we dropped them. We rode out in the dark. In secret on a rowboat. After a few over night trips and failures, we found the guns. The dream literally ended with us in a boarded up living room opening the containers. We had weapons, we had a plan, we had the means to fight. Buzzing phone, it's 0400. Time for work.

A Week Ago Today Update.

2011-08-12T10:02:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am going to be posting the final post which will have words from the mouths of the people who went on the trip. I had to track down a cd of Sundays service with them recorded. Just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten.
Thanks! Jon

A Week Ago Today. Friday.

2011-08-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

This is our last day on site. It weighs in the back of everyone's mind to do all that we can. We are 2 people short as Andy is out with a shoulder that he aggravated destroying Sams computer yesterday. Ricky is still out with a stomach bug. The crew is strangely determined on the road to Joplin. We arrive at Sam's Place just after 0815. We start back on all the jobs that we left yesterday. Sam shows up and brings with him that inimitable spirit. That drive. That thing that gives me the utmost confidence that Joplin will continue going strong. The town and it's people have taken a hit, but it's getting right back up and moving on. He gets Josh and Joseph to help him out in the basement, where his life was saved just over 2 months before. He shows them the spot where he stayed with his hands over his ears for what seemed like an eternity. He stops several times to examine things that have been damaged, surveying, deciding what to keep and what to throw away. He gives Josh a couple of old books. The smell is overpowering and they all three must don face masks. They keep bringing up box after box of stuff, some staying, most going. The guys that have been working on the backyard are keeping a great pace. It creeps into my mind that maybe we won't finish today. But we all decided early on that we were going to finish what we came to do.
The morning ends rather quickly, and suddenly we're back at the high school for our last lunch there. I see a guy with a shirt that has a ministry name and logo on it strike a match and light a cigarette. I shake my head at what I think is an incorrect picture. However, after lunch as I ask around as to who the owner of the ministry that is providing the lunches for all the volunteers is and I am pointed in HIS direction. I begin to taste a little bit of my own size 10 shoe. I walk over to hand an envelope with a donation to him, and I note an elderly woman talking to the founder. She keeps questioning him about something, I am trying not to intrude, but being outside in a relatively small area I can hear that she is crying and asking about cost of something, and insurance worries. He keeps telling her that the shed they are going to provide her is completely taken care of. Their ministry is going to all the ravaged homes and picking up any reusable wood and making storage sheds for them. They are putting solar panels on them for power, since much of the city is still without. They are providing them to anyone who has had a house demolished by the storm as quickly as they can get them made. The list is long. She then asks how she is supposed to get the shed to her land, and he tells her that it is taken care of, as long as they have her address, she will have a shed, at this she bursts into tears and thanks him over and over. I stand back as she hugs the owner, whose name I can't recall, and he just holds her and comforts her, and I just stand back and watch this pure ministry. He may have a habit that disagrees with me, but this has shown me a bit of something else; just because someone doesn't come in the cookie cutter image of what WE think they should be doesn't mean that God won't use them in a mighty way. (I included that little bit because due to the work that I do it's become VERY easy for me to box people up in neat little categories and write them off, and God showed me here that I still have SO much to learn.)
I get the crew back to the work site and the fact that we actually have a deadline today sets in. If this crew was a group of fighters before, they are absolute WARRIORS today. They tear into each job that they have been assigned with a fervor that I have never witnessed. They aren't doing it for pay, or for recognition, they are doing it to help a man they have known for mere hours. We all are MOVING. Bricks are flying and piled and thrown away. The mortar is piled and shoveled and thrown. Wheelbarrow load after wheelbarrow load is piled high and disposed of. I literally have to pull people to take breaks. To drink water, to get something in their system. It's the coolest of our 4 days on site but their shirts are the most drenched that I have seen them. They take short breaks and even as the clouds gather over head (the first in more than a few days, Sam tells us) the sweat flows. We're working like madmen trying to get as much done as possible. A man drives up and asks if we can sweep off his foundation next door, Josh jumps on that with Ian and Will. The rest of us are either helping Sam or clearing his back yard. The huge pile of bricks is gone and the deck is disassembled. The trash has been raked from his place and the curb is full of all of his belongings that were too big for him to mess with on his own. Young lady and Man alike, all are FILTHY and the sweat leaves little mud tracks down their faces and arms and legs. Shirts that started the day stark bleached white are brown to the last thread. Shorts and pants are sweat through everywhere and dirty from the dirt. Then, right at three oclock, on the button, a bright flash of lightning splits the sky and after a few seconds thunder shakes the ground. We survey the yard and side lot, every bit of what we could have accomplished is done. The only thing really left is for Sam to continue to sort through the belongings that are all on his foundation covered in tarps or in his basement. We begin to contemplate leaving, the circumstance being that we are on the upslope of a hill and being the tallest things in a 2 mile radius. As tho punctuating our reluctant decision to call it a day, lightning strikes even closer and the thunder is IMMEDIATE and amazing. The power behind these things is no longer lost on me. We all say our goodbyes to Sam and get handshakes and hugs in return. His last words to us are cut short by another booming, blinding display from the sky and rain starts to fall. As he turns to leave he tells us that this is the first rain they have had in weeks. As we board the van we can see for all around the dryest dirt rising from the ground as the rain hits. The deluge begins. We head home.

We arrive at the church just before the storm. We all opt to stay at the church and get some rest that night, and we have another worship time and go around the room talking about the things that the Lord has shared with us on this trip. I am humbled and amazed at the things that this group shares. I will try and get some of the youth to send me a small piece on what they learned and shared and get it on here for you. We start to get everything loaded up into the van except what we will need in the morning. The elation that we will get to see our families and friends tomorrow are dampened only by the fact that we all (to the last person) wish that we had more time here. More time with Sam, or Mr. Smith his neighbor. With the Atteberrys. Even after I watched them give their all, this group still wants to give more. I could not be more proud. Our God is such a Good God. We hit the hay. Sleep comes quite easily.

A Week Ago Today. Thursday.

2011-08-04T14:46:00.000-05:00

Thursday morning we wake early, to get out to our new site and get a good full days work in. The morning starts off fairly easily! Until breakfast. Haha! Ricky unfortunately picks up the herky jerkys in his gut and begins visiting food again. We head into Joplin, and try to make it and see if Ricky gets to feeling any better. He does not. He vomits a couple times. He looks bad. He heads back to the church with Jenni in Panda 2 (Both of the vans on the trip are white with tinted windows and have earned the nicknames Mama Panda and Baby Panda from the Mexico Girls. Josh and Myself utilize slightly manlier terms with Panda 1 and Panda 2, but even so, you can't get too manly with PANDA being your moniker) and the rest of us get to work on our next project. The removal another deck, the sorting and restacking of usable bricks for sale or reuse, and possibly item sorting, removal and throwing out, if the owner can make it. He has not returned to his house for 45 days. With the enormous task set before him and the emotional devastation that comes with this type of disaster, it's kind of impossible to know where to begin. His sister and brother in law show up first, after we have begun our work. They tell us a little bit about Sam, the owner of the house. He is an Art Teacher at a local school. There are bits of pottery and clay all over the place. Paintings are ripped out of their frames and strewn about the lawn and foundation of his house. We start on his deck, he wants to keep the lumber and anything that can be reused. Bricks need to be broken from the mortar, there is a pile four feet high and about 20 feet around that a group of people get to work on. Hosanna, Joy, Nicole, Hope, they are the brick breakers. The others get to hauling more brick to them from all around the property, Nora, Will, Mary, Austin, Ian, Andy, these are my earth movers. They haul everything from bricks to dirt to garbage and ANYTHING that needs to be moved from one end of the lawn to the other. They help, one by one or in small groups, with the wood that is coming off of the deck.
Suddenly up walks a man with a warm vibrant smile. Sam has arrived at his house for the first time in over a month and a half. He stops here and there as he walks up the makeshift path that cuts across his driveway and where his garage used to be, picking up pieces of his life, tossing some, putting some on the foundation of his home for later sorting and safe keeping. As he walks up, he shakes hands with everyone and thanks them, telling us all a bit about himself and what happened. Through out the day we learn what his experiences were and how his communications from the city have been since the day of the tornado. There is much confusion, there are contractors going around trying to bully people into bulldozing their land, yammering on about deadlines and fines and fees. There are family members that are still have trouble communicating with those that lived near here. He's not a tear-dripping mess, I am sure he had those days, who wouldn't? No, today Sam is a man determined to continue putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. He tells us a bit about the neighborhood and who lived here and there, this family was doing well, and this man was on the first floor of his house while his wife was trapped downstairs. A teacher lived here and a professor lived there, they are rebuilding and they are not, that lady bull dozed immediately and so forth and so on. We are working together with him as he coordinates us to further be helpful to him. A suburban drives by with Koolaid and cookies, then a church van with water, gatorade and sandwiches, then another car with lemonade, then the red cross truck drives up with hydration and snacks. The people here are all eager to help those who have come to help them. We hear "Thank You" over and over again. But these snacks and accolades and acknowledgments are not why we came. We came for the Atteberry's. We came for Sam. We came to help in anyway we can.
About midway through the day, we lose Joseph. A wheelbarrow full of bricks falls on his ankle and Joy. Not ON Joy, but her feet and legs too. She turns out fine, but Joseph tweaked his ankle some and so we send him home in Panda 2 as well. Ice and rest is the rest of his day. Sam gets rid of an old computer and lets the Destructo Boys tear at it. Sam doesn't want any of his personal info to be accessible from the computer so he hands the boys the CPU and a Pick Axe. They pull an Office Space on that poor machine. The day goes on through lunch, and we return, board after board are coming up and there is a one gallon pitcher filling up with screws. The work is tough, and the sun is beating down on our heads, but we are hydration MACHINES. We are keeping cool when we can, which is rough going because every single shade tree they had was ripped apart by the storm or uprooted by dozers afterword. The day comes to an end and there is still much to be done.
Upon arrival back at the church in Mount Vernon, our home base, I make contact with the volunteer center and get the okay just to head right back out to Sams Place in the morning. This is when Jenni calls us over to her computer, she's pulled up a picture of Sams Place on google earth. We are all floored all over again as we see what once was and remember the barren dirt and concrete neighborhood that we left today. It's a brand new slap in the face of the ridiculous destructive power of these storms. We are awed. We are hushed.
We heat some leftovers for the young people and Jenni, Nora, Josh and myself all head out to a Taco dive just up the road. I LOVE THIS PLACE. It's called Taco Palace and they serve these HUGE tacos. Josh and I each get one and an order of their Super Nachos. It's money well spent. The ladies ask what is good there, and the reply comes that their taco salads are famous and best sellers, with that info the ladies each order one. We all enjoy a great meal and upon exiting the restaurant, we see that it only opened that same month, a couple of weeks before. I hope it stays around. We all laughed because it seemed funny hearing the cooks talk about their food like it had been selling for years! As Nora put it, "It's all in the attitude!"
We arrive back at the church after a stopping by a truck stop for some supplies, namely a lock that I cost us on the trailer. We got to the church and gathered all the youth for a time of worship and a small devotion. I read to them out of 1 Corinthians 13 verse 11- When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
I let them know that I had not witnessed a single childish act this entire trip, and that seeing them break sweat and bleed for these people that they had never met literally brought tears to my eyes. I had not brought a group of children, but of mighty fighters who would fight for these people in whatever manner was fit. I was looking out over the finest group of people that my eyes had seen assembled. They didn't choose the childish self entertaining ways of water parks, or concerts, but to come and work. There was a time and a place for those things for all of us! Sure! But it was not time for that. It was time to stand for these people that had nothing left to stand on but faith, and it was time to help. I could not be more proud of this group. Even now, a week later, my heart swells. I call to them to continue this way of thinking, acting and living when we return home, because it's easy to do when you're out in a new place, doing new things, seeing the fruits of your work in the smiles and gratitude of those you are helping, but it is another thing to seek these things out when you are at home, and everything is normal.
We break up after prayer, and sleep. Another early day tomorrow.

A Week Ago Today. Wednesday.

2011-08-03T16:33:00.001-05:00

Day three. I get up around 0715 and get ready to head to the nearby town of Aurora MO to retrieve the part that has been ordered for us. I am feeling pretty good. It's been a little bit of a rocky start for our crew with the van giving us the scare on Monday night and then the late start due to the same on Tuesday morning. I planned on having the part back to a waiting Josh and Uncle Johnny and getting the brand spanking new chunk of metal into the van and being good to go by about 0845 or 0900. I make the drive in the beautiful rolling countryside of Missouri, passing ancient little towns of 2 and 300 with their town churches. Old beat up ford trucks parked in front of the town markets and little gas stops on the way. I really loved that morning drive, the sunrise casting a beautiful sepia colored hue over everything and the shadows playfully laying on the hills. In the distance a tractor rolls out of a huge red barn. I don't know why, but I absolutely love all of this. It's a bit like traveling back to a simpler time. I arrive at the Ford Dealership after asking a group of folks all out on their morning smoke break in the shadow of a grain elevator, they all point in the same direction and holler the same set of instructions, you would have thought the choreographed it! They catch the humor in it too and chuckle good naturedly as turn around and head out.
I ask the pretty lady at the reception desk where to go and she points me down the stairs, all smiles, and the fellas in the parts cubby are happy to see me. They're scanning in the part as I walk up and they say graciously offer thanks for our help in the clean up effort even tho they all live about 45 minutes from where it happened, it's just that kind of community. Hands are shook and the deal is done. I head back to the church and enjoy the drive back even more. It does not dawn on me that our part was broken at a bracket that came off the piece and that the new part does not have this. I don't notice this because I am too ecstatic that the new part made it in time! That these people were so eager to help us out, that we are going to be 100% functional now!
I get back to the church and note with some displeasure that the van is indeed NOT disassembled and ready to go, so I track down the team at a local eatery waiting for their breakfast orders! They haven't even eaten yet! So I grab Uncle Johnny and Josh and we start back to the church, even before we reach there Josh informs me that this is NOT the part that we need. I realize it immediately upon actually EXAMINING the part, and am crushed. I feel like an idiot, I was ready to get onto Josh for not having things ready to go, and that actually ended up SAVING us time. So the youth get back from breakfast little by little and I let them know the situation. Words are not adequate enough to convey the feeling of failure that I am feeling at this moment.
The group takes it all in stride and wonder only one thing. How long will it take us to get into town? I remind them that we ran the van pretty easily without the trailer yesterday and it did fine, and so we should be able to do the same thing today. We load up and I give Jenny the part to take back to the nice people at the Ford Dealership. I call ahead to let them know that it's the wrong part and that it's coming back to them. Jenni tells me later that they took it back with no hassle at all. We head straight back out to The Atteberry's house after a quick stop off for tools at the church to a startling discovery... A large backhoe is literally in the act of demolishing the house for clear out. Josh approaches the driver to find out what is going on, turns out that the Atteberry's have contracted out their house to be leveled. We start to work on the deck after the back hoe is off the property, but he comes back and says that he is going have 2 bulldozers come and clear the property that same afternoon. We head back to the church for a new assignment. The lady at the front desk is alarmed when I tell her that the backhoe has started the work. She asks if I cleared the backhoe worker to demolish. I ardently let her know that I did not. He was already working on the house when we arrived. There is a bit of confusion as we sit at the church, eager to work but taking full advantage of the air conditioning in the church. By stroke of blessing, the lady at the front desk assigns us there at the church doing various jobs and moving this and that, the girls "palletizing" different things here and there, and generally helping anywhere and everywhere that we can. We learn that the high winds put a tree on the roof of this church and tore it up pretty good. They have a deadline of August 17 to get the entire building ready for their Private schooling in the fall. We help everywhere and anywhere we can. This church is a beehive of activity and we are all over the place, cleaning and moving and sorting. It's a fun afternoon that doesn't kill us. I think it was well needed. I can tell that some of the youth want to be out "helping people". I have to remind some of them that for whatever reason, we are at the church for that day and the things we are doing are necessary too. They have such incredible hearts, this group.
I check in with the coordinator to get an assignment for the next day and we get an address on Wall St. We all agree to head into town early the next day to get a head start on it! We will be disassembling another deck and cleaning his yard, sorting bricks and stacking things, also, we'll be helping the owner sort through his belongings and getting heavy stuff hauled to the curb if he is able to show up. He has not been back to his home in 45 days due to the enormous emotional impact that the devastation has caused him.
The drive home is a bit less uncomfortable than the day before since we aren't cooked to the core. Also, we head home a little bit later than usual due to the light duty. Jenni has found another way to feed us all deliciously and very economically! There is a full spread of fried chicken, gravy, green beans, mashed potates, corn, and rolls!! It is all manner of DELICIOUS! After pounding some food, everyone lets it settle and an impromptu ball game starts in the churches gym. After watching for a bit and seeing enough of Josh pretend to be Shaq on all these teenagers, (LOL BTW, JUST LOL) I started looking through some books that the church has sectioned out of their book ministry and let us know that we can have whatever we can carry. I get a pretty good little collection going, put in a plastic bag under the far Basketball goal, away from the game, and the book ministry. I watch a little more as the youth engage in what can only be called no-holds-barred full contact tackle basketball. Hosanna tackles ANYONE with the ball, on her team or not, Austin holds his own against Josh-Shaq, and everyone is having a good time until Joseph goes sliding across the floor on his face. Everything is quiet and standing absolutely still. Then he starts laughing and it goes from good time to GREAT TIME! I exit quietly stage left and find a nice quiet spot to write in my journal and hang out till the end of the night.
Around 15-20 minutes later I am writing away and contemplating calling Jessica when the lights go out. I look up startled as I was pretty deeply immersed in writing, and note that there is no one in THIS section of the fellowship hall where I am sitting. I remember that there was going to be some activity in the church that night and know that there are multiple switches to the same room I am in. I shrug it off and walk over and turn the lights back on. I sit down, I put the pen to paper as is so soothing to me, and the lights go off again. I chuckle, I say "Hello?" and walk to the hallway toward the sanctuary, seeing nothing, I go back to the light switch and turn it back on. Then they go off again, even before I sit down the third time, the lights go out, so I quickly make my way to the hallway and turn the corner, to see a little girl of no more than 9 or 10 years of age standing at the end of the hallway. I see her freeze, and BOLT to the right. I wait. No parent comes around the corner, and so I turn the lights back on. This time they stay on.
I think that any child or young person that has grown up in the church has a story or two of having the good gollies scared out of you in a church building. I think I just became legend to one little girl.
Lights out again. But the guys actually stay up this time, telling jokes and just generally having a great time. It feels good to be laughing this week. I love these guys and this crew from top to bottom. We finally shut eye around midnight, wondering if the ladies heard us and were kept awake by our raucous laughter. Tired and happy, when sleep comes that night, later than usual, it's hits hard, and lands soft. We all cut out within seconds of each other. God has been so good to us all week. Every manner of problem that has presented itself has been remedied by His hand again and again. The snores come easy and bother none as we are all apart of a snoozy chorus. It's been a good day.

A Week Ago Today. Tuesday.

2011-08-02T17:32:00.000-05:00

Early morning wake up. Alarm goes off at 0630. Wake up, get ready for the day. Walk outside and realize with some relish that we are not automatically drenched in sweat a la Louisiana. It's actually refreshing out. I get a call from Uncle Johnny on Rickys phone verifying our location and a mere 60 seconds later, he's pulling around the corner and to the van. Josh and I already have the hood up and the dashboard console out, and are looking at the problem again. Uncle Johnny walks over, takes one or two looks and starts disassembling this and that with his tool kit, it is MUCH more advanced than the one we have in the van. Pieces come off, this goes here, that goes there, and just a little moment later, we are ordering a replacement part from a Ford Dealership up the road in nearby Aurora, MO. Uncle Johnny reattaches the piece that we have under the hood and, just like that, we are road worthy again! We leave the trailer at the church and load up the youth, and coolers full of water and gatorade in the now fully functional van, Pastor Nathan's van, and Uncle Johnny's truck and set off toward Joplin. As we make our way through Joplin, we are all remarking on how the section of town that we are driving through to get to the Lutheran Church that is our base doesn't look very bad. Not bad at all. But then, I miss a turn (this would become par for the course, I think if anyone kept count of missed turns or exits the number would definitely be an embarrassing figure) and as we crest the top of a hill on 32nd street, we notice that Joplin turns from nice midwestern American town to barren wasteland. Everything was GONE. We didn't see it for very long, but we saw it. As we turned back, we made contact with the volunteer base. We get an address and a name, The Atteberrys. The project is the complete removal of the pool and deck, both of which survived remarkably. We drive out to the site where we will be working for the next couple of days, and the destruction laid out before us literally silences the van, there's gasps and "Oh my God"'s. The scope of demolition that is unfolding before us is absolutely mind numbing. If never before in my life have I been astounded, I am today. We get off the van at the proper address; guesswork at best, the foundations and basements are all indistinguishable from one another, it's just row after row of nothing. Tree stumps and dirt, basements and foundations, all leveled. The thought process in my mind is at a standstill. On a tv screen it looks bad, on big pictures in the newspapers it looks bad, in reality tho, there was no escape. Everywhere you looked there was debris, detritus of lives blown away, bricks and lumber splintered and piled, spray paint on the roads for directions and street names. As we begin our work, a tiny drop in the ocean of tear down and rebuild that need to happen for Joplin to continue, the mood gradually lightens and we take to our work with gusto. We want to help these people. We want to do more, and the only way to do more is to do what is in front of us. Chainsaws are going, the young and old alike are working with gusto. We have been given more than one speech on hydration, and through-out the day Josh is yelling to drink water. Different folks need to be told to go and take a break, to get a rest, to go and drink. The people in this trip have absolutely no quit in them.
Lunch time comes as a surprise, and we hear that the high school is a site for volunteers to be able to go and have free meals and cold water. I imagined a cafeteria setting. We set out. As we near the high school, we again are hushed by the magnitude of destruction that happened here in this tiny beautiful town. There will be no cafeteria for sometime. In some areas of the massive school the roof is completely gone and the walls have imploded. The windows are blown out and the area is completely fenced off. We get in line, some volunteers from other organizations are in line with us, they are from everywhere. Colorado, Mississippi, Vermont, Virginia, California, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas. My heart is warmed as I hear the different names and locations from where they come. All to help. There is no pay here, there is no overtime or bonus. There is just a hurting people who have had everything taken from them. We eat a hearty lunch and go back to the work site. We pass the entrance of the high school and see that the JOPLIN HIGH SCHOOL has been damaged. Only the OP remain from the city's name. But looking a little closer we see that someone has either spray painted or duct taped the letters H and E to the beginning and end of where JOPLIN was. Now it reads HOPE HIGH SCHOOL. Again, I am amazed at the spirit of the people here.
We make it back and finish out the afternoon. It is BLAZING hot. This is sort of a problem because after a hard days work, and needing to come back to finish in the morning, we find out that the Air Conditioning has gone from the van. We get home and I have had a shower, I call the Ford Dealership and verify that the part will be in tomorrow morning and the location. We get an AMAZING dinner of Pasta and meatballs and marinara sauce, garlic butter bread and of course water and gatorade. Jenni, Josh and myself make a Wal-Mart run for caps, bandannas and some other supplies we will be needing for the week. Day one on the jobsite was a success. I saw in these young people the want and ability to help, no matter the temperature or discomfort. As we arrive back home from the trip to Wal-Mart, we each settle from the day in our own ways, and begin to unwind. It has been almost a full day except for the late start we got due to the repairs on the van, tomorrow, I will have the new part, Uncle Johnny will put it in, and we will be all set... We ALL agree that it's about time to hit the hay! I set the alarm for the next morning to be able to go and retrieve the part that we need, and it's lights out.

A Week Ago Today. Monday.

2011-08-02T00:25:00.002-05:00

Day 1 of the Joplin Relief Trip.
The stress didn't start today, it started a few months ago. I had asked the youth leadership and planning crew what they wanted to do for their summer trip. I tossed out a few options like concerts, conventions, and theme parks. But, in May, a tornado had ravaged the town of Joplin, Missouri. I will admit that I played around with the idea of a relief trip, but was far to unsure of my own leadership to suggest such a thing! Really, giving up an entire week of summer to go and work? And not even at the youth group favorite orphanage in Mexico? So, I kept it to myself. At the meeting though one of the youth, Ricky, spoke up and said that one of his close friends had lost friends of her own in the tragedy that befell Joplin. The reception was almost completely unanimous, and so we decided that I should take the idea of a relief trip in the week of Thanksgiving (to be able to completely plan and execute) to the next staff meeting. At the staff meeting, Pastor Nathan suggested that we do the trip ASAP! Given the nature of the trip, he felt it was not something we could put off. So after going back and forth a couple of times between him and the group, we settled on a week at the end of July, starting on the 25.
We started getting things ready, and of course, this was when the stress happened. I had never done ANYTHING like this in my life. Taking a group of young people to an Acquire The Fire convention is a walk in the park compared to something of this nature! I got in contact with different people here and there and sure enough, after a bit I had us registered with a volunteer group and staying at a church near the area. Time passed, and before I really knew it, I had 15 total people going in two vehicles to somewhere I had never been before to do something I had never done before. As the planning went, I thought we were going to be eating sandwiches and chips for lunch with bottles of water. THANKFULLY, Jenni Baier got involved with the trip and took over the logistics of it, and saved the day after day with meals and budgeting and about a million other things!
Josh Dupree, one of the older but still young people in the group was my copilot for the trip and Nora Fisher was the Life Jacket of Our Morale! Self title Grambo (Grandma-Rambo) kept our spirits up from start to finish! As we started on the road, we headed up 165 toward Monroe as the GPS told us to. Pastor Nathan called us back and told us to head up 167 to Shreveport and after this little bump we ran into no problems the first 95 percent of the trip. (I did notice in the middle of the day it seemed that we weren't hitting ANY of the little towns I had anticipated, and I checked the GPS against my iPhone, and we were going OUT OF OUR WAY to go to Little Rock!! After the anger checked out tho, I really started enjoying the BEAUTIFUL scenery of a land I had never visited til that day!) I had a little time to get used to pulling around an enormous trailer, but after about 2 hours of driving, I didn't even notice the pull it had on the van! But about one hour close to our destination, we were headed up the hills inherent to the area of Branson and Springfield, and Josh and myself heard a pop and a hiss and my foot went to the floor. The van lost 98 percent of it's power and we coasted to a stop on the side of the road. We looked at the tires first, thinking that we had blown one, but all of them seemed to be intact. Then we popped the hood, nothing LOOKED bad, so I revved the engine a couple of times, nothing! No problem at all! At least not until we started to drive, we started seeing an increase in the black smoke characteristic of a diesel exhaust system, and we weren't getting but up to MAYBE 25 MPH while going up these huge hills of the great state of MO. The van just couldn't find the power to pull the weight of the youth, and the trailer (stuffed to the gills with our supplies for a week of relief work) ANYWHERE! So we pulled off at a restaurant and tried to clear our heads a bit. The stress level for me was through the roof, but I had just spoken to the youth about Gods providence and how if HE called you to something He would provide the way to get there, the means to do it and the strength to carry it out. I used Peter walking to Christ on the sea as the prime example.
After dinner, Josh and I go out to the van and field strip it to get a better look at the engine. We removed the lower parts of the dashboard and backing to get access. I was texting and speaking to Vic Riscili back in Pineville, who, after listening to what I had to tell him about the van, said that it sounded like the Turbo was out. Well, given that all the experience I have had with cars was gas tanks and oil changes, I didn't have the slightest idea what to look for. After sending him some pictures and conversating, we had an idea of where to look, but were still as lost as could be. While Josh and I were outside with the van, two things were happening inside the restaurant that we were unaware of.
1. Ricky Gallagher was talking to his mother, who had gotten a call from Ricky's Uncle Johnny letting her know that he wanted to spend some time with his nephew and help out with some of the relief work. Uncle Johnny had quite a bit of knowledge in engines and working on them.
2. Nora Fisher was praying that the Lord send someone to help us out and get us on our way.

Cut scene back to two confused young men outside. In the parking lot of the restaurant, a trailer is waiting for it's rig, and suddenly, out of the growing darkness, a diesel pulls up and latches up with it in one fell swoop, it was kind of a thing of beauty! Josh see's this and say's, "Dude, this guy is a pro! Let's ask him what he thinks it is!" My thoughts at that moment were "Josh, he drives a rig, not a 15 passenger van, that's two TOTALLY different things! I don't wanna bother this guy!" but my brain stopped those words from spilling out of my gaping hole of a mouth when Josh said, "What have we got to lose?" I thought about it. We really didn't have ANYTHING to lose, here we were within an hours drive of our destination with 15 young people that had been on the road ALL day, so let's go over to this guy and ask. He tells us EXACTLY where the turbo is and how it sounds like that is the exact problem we are having! He confirms everything that Vic has been telling us but hasn't been able to really SHOW us. Then he drives off into the night, on a tight schedule.
It's not a problem that will bench us, but it will slow us down. With renewed hope, we set off into the night. Dark has fallen at this point and the hills were larger than ever that lay before us. We had to start "Sling-Shotting" the van down the hillsides to gain enough speed to make it to the top of the next hill!! It was a bit dangerous, but God kept his hand on us the whole way! We were exhausted as we finally pulled in to the church parking lot where we were staying and checked in. I had been really scared that it was going to be this poor little one room chapel with an outhouse and barely there electricity. Ahem. This was NOT the case. ALL of our spirits lifted when we saw our home for the next week. It was a BEAUTIFUL AG church in Mount Vernon, MO. As the youth piled into the church and began to get set in their rooms, Josh and I worked on the van. Ricky stayed on the phone late into the night giving Uncle Johnny directions on how to get to the church. Josh and myself collapsed onto some army cots that were loaned to us by Terry Gilcrease for the trip. It was 0230 in the morning and we woke up at roughly 6:30 to be ready in time to see Uncle Johnny in the morning. I remember thinking that if we came up the way we thought we would with all the tiny towns, we may not have made it, the road was to small and curvy and hilly to get ANY momentum at all, and God had laid out the path that we took for a purpose too! Talk about PROVIDENCE! But all in all, this was JUST the beginning! As I closed my eyes I acknowledged that today was one of the longest days of my life.

Getting caught up.

2011-07-21T00:41:00.000-05:00

It's been a bit crazy around here lately, we've had a visit by my little brother and his family! It takes some getting used to having a two year old running around! A little ball of energy and mischief, tearing around, needing to be looked after and what not, but I wouldn't have given it up for anything in the world!
It was FANTASTIC having Nathan, Jean and Eli come to us this year! Unfortunately it was during one of the worst heat waves we've seen around these parts in a while! We had a good time tho, celebrated the birthday of our great nation by watching colorful explosions and blew a little stuff up ourselves!
Next up we have a trip to Joplin Missouri planned for next week. A relief trip is our youth groups idea of a good time, and that is JUST FINE BY ME!!! I am so blessed by these young people!
Well, there isn't a whole lot to say right now, so I am gonna go on an get outta here. I'll not make any promises of blogging more.... but I'll try.
Your consolation prize, Jon.

A letter to my father.

2011-06-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

To the Strongest Man In The World

My own personal Hero,

When people say the word “Father”, it evokes certain personal, immediate and strong imagery. One of the first of many of my own father happened when I was very young. I can remember him taking control of a situation in which I found myself with an injury of life threatening danger. I had discovered a way to put patio furniture into my neck. My mother found me and, a few months pregnant with my brother, hauled me inside to dad. Busy working on one project or another, he came over at once and did the most effective thing first. He prayed. I recall looking at him through tear blurred vision, he was calling out to God on behalf of his wounded son and frightened wife. His powerful presence and control of the issue at hand has always been a sculpting force in my own life, always trying to maintain calm, strength and control when others may not be able to. For this I thank you. Thank You, dad.

There were many times when I lay sick or hurt either physically or otherwise that I recall looking up and seeing him praying. The man taught me by example the unteachable- Faith. Faith in the God who has come through for me time and time again. Belief in the God who has never let me down just as He never let my father down. For this, I thank you. Thank You, dad.

At the word “Father”, I remember, with startling clarity, playing catch with him in the front yard of our old trailer. I remember the very specific feelings of awe and wonder as this Super Human threw the ball so high in the sky that I thought for sure it would never come down, tho it did, every time. Even at this young age I loved to put on a show, and I grabbed the football, eager to impress this awesome man, and threw myself into a three-point stance. In my haste I didn’t look where I put my hand and fell prey to my first bee sting. I cried out in pain and startlement and there he was, by my side before I really knew what had happened, reacting only to the fire in my hand. He looked at my hand and found the stinger and removed it. I can still remember my tiny hands in his. He calmed me. Then he did something very curious, he looked down into the grass where I had placed my hand. (Further proof to me that he was indeed Super Human- He was so far away! How could he possibly see where that mean old bee was?) He called me over to him. I eased over that way, sniffling and distraught, peering down into the grass. I remember, even then, trying to stand like him, to emulate him. He pointed down, there lay the bee, dying. He explained to me that the bee was now sure to die now that it had lost its stinger. I marveled at his knowledge of all things. I don’t remember what we did after, but I remember him saving the day that day. And oh, so many others. For that, I thank you. Thank You, dad. To bring this reminiscence to a close and let you get on with your day, I will leave you with this-

For every prayer you prayed, for every encouraging word, for every saved day.

I thank you.

For every time that you told me that I “could” instead of the other, I thank you.

Thank you for all the “nevers”. You never said “You can’t”. You never said “You won’t”. You never quit on me. You never walked away. You never stopped believing in me, even to this day. Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you. Happy Father’s Day.

Your Proud Son.

Jon

A boy saying good bye to one of his dogs.

2010-09-20T12:57:00.000-05:00

Didn't know you too long Peanut. I remember when we first met. You were pathetic looking. A sorry excuse for a wiener dog if I ever saw one! I asked your then current owner about you, and suddenly I was your current owner! I picked you up and brought you to introduce you to your younger bigger brother, Kaiser! You were both pretty wary of each other, and the first thing you did was EAT! You WERE a skinny bugger, but you fattened up really quick! You learned your way around the house and pretty soon we weren't surprised to see a pile of clothes wriggling around and your long nose poke out of it. Of course, because you smelled so bad (EVEN AFTER BATHS!), we had to wash the clothes AGAIN, but it didn't matter, you seemed happier than when we first got you, and that's all that mattered to me. I hope that your last few months here were comfortable, and that you were happy. As happy as a dog can be. I know the night that you came out of the bedroom, walked right up to me with that look in your eyes, my heart broke. I knew there was something that I was going to have to do that was going to break my heart, and in the end, I gave the go ahead to have you put down. I'm sorry. You made my life better, you gave Kaiser someone to play with and Jessica someone to love behind my back. LOL. You were a good dog. I hope that you're time with us was as full of love as a dog can feel. I think you guys don't get the credit you deserve. Your tail wags no matter what, you're ornery personality is particularly all your own, and you love. Unconditionally you love. You taught me alot about myself, through your life and through your passing. I hope that in return, you were content in my care. I have made a vow to protect those in my keep, and I am truly sorry I couldn't comfortably prolong your life. You were a good dog Peanut. I hope I was a good boy to you. You deserved a good boy.
I love you, pup.
So good-bye then. I wish you the best.

ZZZZZOOOMBIES!!!

2010-07-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

I have recently fallen back in love with my favorite sub-genre in horror movies. The zombie movie. The zombie movie is in a class all it's own. It's absurdly frightening to some people just due to the fact that on the face of the genre, it is about a virus that is HIGHLY contagious. Beneath all the "undead" and "brain eating" it comes back to something that should frighten us all... Contagion can happen. Happens all the time! And for the most part, our governments are HIGHLY incapable of either containing or controlling outbreaks of any kind! Another reason that these movies are scary or that they hit home with a majority of viewers is that spot in the movie (and let's face it, it's really a go to scene for all zombie movies) where the hero looks over at a loved one and wonders if they are in fact infected. This is something that I as a man would hate to face. To look at my wife and wonder if she was sick, and was sick enough to get me and a whole lot of other people sick....could I pull the trigger? Would I have what it takes to ensure survival? Would I even want to survive without her? Cheesy B-Movies? Yes. Absolutely. But I think we would be foolish not to plan. For a Zombie Apocolypse? Maybe not, but for a viral outbreak? Absolutely. Just a thought! Gonna go polish my guns now!

Ode to Agent Orange.

2010-06-24T00:54:00.000-05:00

You were a Neon. Not a great car, but definitely not the worst. You were perfect for me when we first met. I saw you and you had my heart. You were sitting there in all your Neon glory and splendor, the friends that I brought with me just KNEW you were the one for me. We have had our ups and our downs, but through it all, you forgot all of the times that I was rough on you, or the time that I made you blow a rod, or the time that I ran you into a fire hydrant. You forgot all of the times that I punched the steering wheel in frustration or heartbreak. All you remembered was that I took my solace in you. All you remembered was that You protected me when I collided with an immovable object. You took the damage and protected my big fat head. All you remembered was that you did everything in your power to get me from where I was to where I needed to go. You never gave up on me, even tho I didn't take the best care of you. And despite what others might have said or may still say, you made sure that I got to where I was going looking quite good! You didn't care that I got your interior all dirty by hauling everything from dirty stinky painters to a lawn mower around inside ya. When it all comes down to it, I know you are just a machine, but I remember making my first 12 hour drive to the woman who would be my wife. And I remember making it in air conditioned goodness. A smooth ride. You literally drove me to what was to be my destiny. You did it all without complaint, and I loved you. You were literally my first adult car and I had a great 8 years with you. You provided the perfect "office" for countless rides with young people just needing to talk. You were the best concert car EVER. And you bore it all with a smooth ride and a happy face. Thanks for it all Agent Orange. You will be missed. Every boy needs a great first car. While there were others before you, none really captured me the way you did.

Farewell,AGENT ORANGE,

and we thank you.

Jon.

99 Things

2010-06-15T03:56:00.000-05:00

Everything I've done is in bold. Found this on another blog and had to repost.

What a creative idea. Reminds me of Bucket List. =)

1. started your own blog

2. slept under the stars

3. played in a band

4. visited hawaii

5. watched a meteor shower

6. given more to charity than you could afford to

7. been to disney

8. climbed a mountain

9. held a praying mantis

10. sung a solo

11. bungee jumped

12. visited Paris

13. watched a thunder and lightning storm

14. taught yourself an art from scratch

15. adopted a child

16. had food poisoning

17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty

18. grown your own vegetables

19. seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. slept on an overnight train

21. had a pillow fight

22. hitch hiked

23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. built a snow fort

25. held a lamb

26. gone skinny dipping

27. run a marathon

28. ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. seen a total eclipse

30. watched a sunrise or sunset

31. hit a home run

32. been on a cruise

33. seen niagara falls in person

34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. seen an amish community

36. taught yourself a new language

37. had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person

39. gone rock climbing

40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person

41. sung karaoke

42. seen old faithful erupt

43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. visited africa

45. walked on a beach by moonlight

46. been transported in an ambulance

47. had your portrait painted

48. gone deep sea fishing

49. seen the sistine chapel in person

50. been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. kissed in the rain

53. played in the mud

54. gone to a drive-in theater

55. been in a movie

56. visited the great wall of china

57. started a business

58. taken a martial arts class

59. visited russia

60. served at a soup kitchen

61. sold girl scout cookies

62. gone whale watching

63. gotten flowers for no reason

64. donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. been sky diving

66. visited a concentration camp

67. bounced a check

68. flown in a helicopter

69. saved a favorite childhood toy

70. visited the lincoln memorial

71. eaten caviar

72. pieced a quilt

73. stood in times square

74. toured the everglades

75. been fired from a job

76. seen the changing of the guard in London

77. broken a bone

78. been a passenger on a motorcycle

79. seen the grand canyon in person

80. published a book

81. visited the Vatican

82. bought a brand new car

83. walked in jerusalem

84. had your picture in the newspaper

85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve

86. visited the white house

87. killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. had chickenpox

89. saved someone’s life

90. sat on a jury

91. met someone famous

92. joined a book club

93. gotten a tattoo

94. had a baby

95. seen the Alamo in person

96. swam in the great salt lake

97. been involved in a law suit

98. owned a cell phone

99. been stung by a bee

These are my weakest hours.

2010-05-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

The best I could do
Was to put me and you
Miles away from what happened tonight
Away from the words that came like blows
In a fight

He didn't think when he spoke
But the words simply broke
Your beautiful heart
It tore you apart
It's killing me to see you
This way

There's are no words that I can say
That would take away
The pain inside
I'm sorry I couldn't defend
I couldn't put the pain to an end

I'll be here to hold you
It's the least that I can do
For you
Tonight
I'm sorry I didn't put up a fight

Please know I'll defend you to the grave

Nothing worth having ever comes easy.

2010-04-29T01:04:00.000-05:00

And if it does, then you may not take care of it as much. (this is of course a generalization so if you have had a personal experience that differs with this particular adage, then awesome for you!)

Hey howdy hey everyone! How have your last couple of weeks been? Mine have been fantastic! Project: Revolution is doing great and we are getting ready to turn that room upside down! Redemption is starting off GREAT and the Lord has been doing a work there as well as in my personal life!

I started working out with Pastor Nathan and Daniel Hearne. Daniel is a transplant to our church from out of state who decided to move on back to his wife's hometown. He has been an excellent addition to the leadership there at the church. He is going through the required schooling to do so. He's been going and pushing us there. It's kind of an odd thing that got us into the gym. One night, not too long ago, Nathan began feeling some chest pains that were unexplainable and had been growing at a steady pace for a couple of weeks. This put him in the emergency room over night and had his attention turned to his lifestyle. He was made aware that night that he needed to seek healthier alternatives to the things he was eating, and the lack of physical activity, despite his constant activity! We decided to all start going to the gym together, and it has been great!

I ran my first 5k on Sunday afternoon. The feeling of accomplishment when I ran across the finish line was AWESOME! I have decided to undertake the undertaking that will be the undertaking of a triathalon. LOL. I know, right?! We'll see how this works out, but I am sure that it will feel DOUBLE better when I pass that finish line. My first 5k was a hurdle just due to the fact that I was unsure if I would even finish. I'm running this race to finish. Not win. So keep me in prayer and I will keep you updated with things as the occur!
Good night!

It's a gamble either way...

2010-04-23T08:39:00.000-05:00

"So we're just supposed to believe God loves us even when we can't feel it? Even when it feels like nobody in the world even cares you exist and people that say they love you don't act like it and never have, you're just sposed to believe it like a good little kid?"

I got this text from a young friend going through a hard time. I sent her a response, but this will kind of further my thinking so that maybe someone out there in cyber land might come across it.

First of all, God loves us in a manner we seldom realize here on earth. He loves us without strings attached, no conditions, no expectations. It's a sad statement that this type of love is almost as rare as I like my steaks. Which is very rare, by the way. In a way, her statement here is one that is more accurate than any I have read. Matthew 18:3-4 tells us in plain english "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Now, alot of people would ask why God chose children. Were they the first item just lying around so that he could make a quick object lesson, or was there a reason they were around Jesus? I am certain that there was a perfect reason they were around. They were around because they loved Jesus and the recognized something in him that most adults lose. Innocence. The only thing we know as children from the earliest of ages is that we are in need. How these needs are met and whether or not we are in want as children determines our earthly understanding of love. If we have good parents that are capable, we are in want of nothing. And what are our wants? As children of a young age, we need just a few things. Love, home, food, and to be cleaned and changed regularly. We know nothing of possesion or desire. We know nothing of jealousy or hatred, bitterness or envy. Selfishness is foriegn to us. We are fully capable of these things, being in the full spectrum of human emotion, but we don't KNOW it yet. We experience true love to the utmost extent that we can experience it here at this age. Our parents fret at our every move and tiny cough. They make sure we have the best that we possibly can so that we can be comfortable and healthy. We are doted on by parents and family and friends of family. We are the center of the universe for a little while. (Is this true love? In one of it's forms yes, but the doting and constant attention is not one of the attributes, just one of the perks of being 8 lbs 7 oz and being adorable)

As we grow we unfortunately expect that our growing wants deserve to be catered to, not fully understanding that what we understood as "wants" when we were babies our parents understood as "needs". As we grow and begin to discover that there are things out there that we want, (or in our minds, need) that we can't have. We got so used to having all of our wants satisfied as children that when we grow up and someone first says no to us.. It's almost a shock to the system. Good parents say no to their kids. It's hard. i've been told, but it's necessary.
Imagine a mother loving her child so much that she let him do what ever he wanted to do. Anyone see the problem with that? Is this rational behavior? No! Because if she truly loved her child, he wouldn't be eating all that candy, he wouldn't be playing in traffic, he wouldn't be doing those drugs, he would have a curfew that is ENFORCED, he wouldn't be putting his life in danger because that is what true love is: Us telling someone that we love them too much to see them hurt themselves. Somewhere along the way we picked up that true love was supposedly the fulfilling of our every desire. It's not. It's the fulfilling of our needs. Am I saying not to lavish your children with toys and gifts? No! That's a great way to show you care for them and want them to be happy, but be sure to keep in mind that these things do not equal true happyness, nor do they equate true love. True love is much deeper than the fulfilling of my selfish wants and desires.

God chose to use children here due to the fact that when we are young, the only thing we know is true love. And the less cluttered our lives are with STUFF, the more we can maybe remember that true love. When God says no to us, it isn't to punish us or to make us feel bad, it's that at that point in our lives, we don't NEED whatever it is that He is saving us from at that particular moment. If we don't understand that, we may always miss out on the blessings that he has stored up for us. Sometimes it takes patience, wisdom, understanding, and good old fashioned faith. I have been short on ALL of those things at one time or another as I am sure any person has been. The thing tho, is that we persevere, because God loves us with a true love deeper than any we can fathom here on earth. We can miss out on so much if we try to apply our feeble understanding of God and Love to what we expect from Him. Be like a child. Love with that spirit. Try it for a couple of days. See if your outlook doesn't brighten up just a little bit. Again, sorry for the sporadic all over the place feel of this entry, it's taken me all morning to write, i'm at work, so I tried to keep the continuity as good as possible!

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine.

2010-04-22T00:52:00.000-05:00

Yes, that is the second Switchfoot reference that I have made in one day. What? You wanna fight about it? LOL. I am waiting for my phone to restore right now. It's taking its sweet time. Oh well. Thought I would offer an explanation as to why I have been gone for a little bit.

The truth of the matter is that I was cleaning the house. My little brother was bringing his wife and son down to visit us for a little bit and we were preparing the house for their visit! We were so excited to have them come down and had a wonderful time! They stayed from Wednesday to tuesday and left early that morning, introducing jessica and myself into a novel concept....leaving at the time you say you're leaving... hmm, gotta try that sometime.

I am growing more and more comfortable with the idea of staying on the dispatch desk at work. I feel a need inside to give myself completely back over to the youth group. I have started doing this and have already noticed some incredible benefits and blessings.

I chose the title here because a recurring theme has been taking its place in my life. That theme is best phrased by brother buddy (The founding pastor of Christian Challenge) who said it this way (mostly) "The great thing about being in a desert is that when you finally make it to that water, you appreciate it that much more." and this is becoming more and more true in my life. I had been in a spiritual and mental and emotional desert. Each one fed off of the other and really put me in a bad place and kept me there. We recently got a young man at the church by the name of Daniel who has brought a tangible excitement for ministry. I needed a shot in the arm and have steadily been receiving them from this guy and in the process have been reconnecting with brother Nathan as well. It has been MUCH needed and the Lord is preparing some great things there in all of us. He has birthed a new vision in me and I can't wait to see it to fruition....

I apologize for the EXTREME randomness and brevity or lack of detail in this blog, but I gotta get to sleep! Day Eight awaits us at 7 am at the Louisiana College Athletic Center. Daniel, Nathan, and myself have been hitting it pretty hard the past few days in order to capitalize on the feeling of renewal that is coursing through our veins at this time... God has been extremely good to me. Hopefully I can collect my thoughts a bit more tomorrow and not leave everything so fragmented. I appreciate your patience. Good night!

Things I learned while watching...

2010-04-11T04:18:00.001-05:00

Cobra. 1986 Starring Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielson.

1. Always have a smart alec answer. For bad guys and authority figures alike. But have the muscle to back it up. No one likes a skinny wise acre.

2. If you are going to use your own personal vehicle for police business, make sure it is this one...

It's a 1950 Mercury complete with a big red switch that says "Nitrous" on it. It also has 5 Point Racing Harnesses as it's primary safety device, other than Sly of course.

3. If a crazy cult ever breaks out in your hometown to usher in the Age of The New World Order by killing the weak so that the strong survive, you will probably only need 1Colt Gold Cup National Match in 9mm caliber pistol (special order with a cobra on the handle), a Jatimatic SMG in 9mm and 3 MK2 Hand Grenades. This should adequately stem the tide of any cultish uprisings in your fair city.

4. It's okay to damage large parts of your city that may APPEAR to be uninhabited at any given time. The patrons of your city will simply overlook the fact that their block was "exploded" and their property destroyed due to the fact that you saved the life of a beautiful model.

5. If you are ever in a ridiculous car chase through aforementioned neighborhoods, make sure that you perform the maneuver where you whip your car around and proceed to drive backwards down a busy streetway that you use the weapons at your disposal (mentioned above) and aim at the radiator of the vehicle that is pursuing you, shooting at this with the Jatimatic SMG in 9mm will almost surely cause the offending vehicle to flip forward end over end. One would assume that this is due to special rounds in the gun, but since we aren't told that any special ammo was used we are led to believe that this was done with regular 9mm bullets.

6. Be on the "Zombie Squad" if at all possible. The police department will call you if there is a "hard case" that needs to be ended. Or if there is a "desease", they will call on you since you most certainly are "The Cure." It helps to have a "little" attitude problem.

7. Have a cool name like Cobretti so that they will call you "Cobra" or "The Cobra" for short. **Note: This does not work with a name like Cowley, or Buttafouco. In these cases the nicknames that entail are disasterous. Butt or Cow are not great names of movies or great nicknames.

8. If the main leader of the cult shoots at you with a sawed off shotgun that would be otherwise useless at more then 7 feet whilst in a car chase, make sure he misses, he will be using special ammunition that will cause whatever it hits to explode. Usually when he shoots at you there will be a large tanker of some sort to absorb the shots and explosions so that you and your cargo and your 1950 Mercury will not sustain a single scratch. (Those 5 Point Racing Harnesses really come in handy at this point as well)

9. When the climax of the battle happens, the cult members will usually all arrive on an assortment of motorcycles having followed you due to the mole in your small group. (This is usually that lady or guy that you don't like, and you should take them out quickly, or else they will be a pretty bad thorn in your side.) Once the cult members arrive, feel free to start shooting them freely. With your Colt at first, and do so without taking the bother and waste of time to aim, two or three shots in the general direction of a bad guy will assure his demise. Once you have beaten the bulk of them, lead the remainder on a chase untill you clear out the rest of their numbers on the road. At this point you will have to face off with the leader in some kind of Iron Forging facility. There will be several large hooks and chains floating about the place that look suitable for piercing and supporting the weight of a large fully grown man. These will come in handy, as you will have to dispatch of the leader in exactly such a manner. Lightly banter with him until you are ready to pull the trigger, then, just before you do, SURPRISE, that mole we talked about earlier jumps on you. (Don't you wish you had taken care of her/him back when you first suspected something was wrong?) This is okay tho, because they should make a great human shield when the cult leader shoots his remaining shotgun blast at you. (Now just using regular shotgun shells, no explosions) Fight and dispatch of the leader in the manner mentioned above, grab girl and walk out of Iron Forge facility slightly battered and bruised but more intact that any of the opposing 30-40 cult members.

10. This is perhaps the most important part. Since your car should be totalled by now, and the truck you arrived at the climax of the movie sufficiently destroyed, you should pick the least damaged motorcycle to ride home on. There should be at least one lying around with virtually no damage. At this point, the pacifistic antagonist in your department will shoot his mouth off one last time at you, in a more "subtle" way. It is absolutely okay to punch him, as long as you shake his hands and say "No hard feelings, pal." Then you can drive off on your confiscated (pretty undamaged) motorcycle without signing the first piece of paperwork. Feel free to leave with the key witness and don't wear a helmet, either of you. Helmets are for bad guys.

As a last thought, definitely NOT an after thought, always keep two things, large face covering mirror coating style shades, and a "Strike Anywhere" style match in your mouth, this helps add to your cool and mysterious demeanor, plus the match comes in handy when a bad guy with a rifle equipped with a scope clumsily misses you from mere feet away and underneath you, hits a gasoline barrel and covers his own body in gasoline. At this point, utter some quick form of the Miranda Rights, ("You have the right to remain silent.") and light the match on the slide of your Colt. Use the shades to watch what happens when you drop the match on the gas covered baddie without irritating your eyes.

A little bit about where I am.

2010-04-07T23:54:00.001-05:00

I have climbed every bookshelf
In search of hardcover proof
And if I am judged by the things that I've loved
I hope some of them are true
---I will walk through the fire
I will not be afraid
They can take everything that I have
But they can’t give me my name---
"Do whatever fulfills you
Make the most of each day"
That’s what we’re taught since before we could walk
But it all will fade away
My Name- The Classic Crime

I have been posting alot about searching and seeking the Lord about certain areas of my life, but I have been rather vague as to what has actually been going on. I have before me a choice of epic proportions. The world won't end or anything like that, it's just the fact that my heart has been divided for sometime between my two options at work. I will try to catch you up as quickly as possible to my current situation.

Many of you have known my desire to serve in the area of Law Enforcement since I was just a kid. When I got a little older I put it out of my head after a failed attempt to get on with the PD of Lubbock Texas due to a couple of things in the interview process, the main one being a horrible credit score. I was in my early twenties and still had a lot of living to do before the Lord called me to Pineville Louisiana, and I started work in the ministry here in the Youth department. I realized the dream was still alive when I started seeing what I could do to get on the police force, and eventually made it into the dispatch office. I tried and failed to get on the actual force here in Pineville. I made it my main goal to fully realize my dream which had been dormant for some time and let my desire for that eclipse my calling into youth ministry. The ministry suffered, my relationship with the young people suffered. It suffered to the point that I have been at times uncertain if they WANT me to repair it. I have always tried to be the leader that God called me to be. I let the youth group down more times than I care to admit. I have my insecurities and in the area of leadership and they are many. I have apologized to the youth so many times that I feel they are only anticipating the next time I let them down, and not the healing process. I am not telling you these things due to a search for a catharsis or an epic reveal, I am only searching for the Lords will.

The plan was to occupy the dispatch seat for a season and then to go on to police officer, but I have seen my time in the dispatch seat wasted. It could have been used in many good ways in rebuilding relationships with the youth, but instead I selfishly used it to pursue my dream. My leadership faltered and failed and the youth group definitely does not deserve that. They deserve the best leader. They deserve nothing but the best, I have told a few of them this, but not all. I have seen a couple of prime examples of the person you have to be to be able to police. I have spoken many times about my comfort with the duality of my being, but I am uncertain as to the impact one side would have on the other. The Police Academy itself would be taxing and trying, and then to move into the 24 constant that is the life of an actual Police Officer. I pride myself in being able to accomplish much, but this may be out of the realm of reality. My heart and desire to please wants to prove to everyone that I CAN do it. But honestly, I think I would also be facing tremendous failure. Another option would be to stay in the dispatch seat and throw myself into youth ministry. This option has been looking more and more feasible, but would I be happy with this decision in 20 years? Once again, I honestly have no idea.

This is where I am. I am leaning in one direction, and am heavily praying that the Lord make his way entirely clear to me. This is an honest blog. I must reiterate that I am not asking you to give me some trite answer or a good Christian pat on the back, I just covet your prayers. I need the strength to deny myself and honor the Lord.

James 1:2-8

Faith and Wisdom

² My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, ³ because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.⁴ Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. ⁵ But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you. ⁶ But when you ask God, you must believe and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown up and down by the wind.^7-8 Such doubters are thinking two different things at the same time, and they cannot decide about anything they do. They should not think they will receive anything from the Lord.

Score- Tonight:1- Jon:0

2010-04-04T00:23:00.000-05:00

Jesus Heals a Man's Hand

Matthew 12:9-13
9 Jesus left there and went into their synagogue, 10 where there was a man with a crippled hand. They were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they asked him, "Is it right to heal on the Sabbath day?"
11 Jesus answered, "If any of you has a sheep, and it falls into a ditch on the Sabbath day, you will help it out of the ditch. 12 Surely a human being is more important than a sheep. So it is lawful to do good things on the Sabbath day."
13 Then Jesus said to the man with the crippled hand, "Hold out your hand." The man held out his hand, and it became well again, like the other hand.

That is how things work out sometimes. Sometimes one problem has to present itself in order for another, deeper problem to be brought to light. For the sake of practicality, I will share with you the order in which our bathroom brought Jessica and myself to a breaking point, and then rescued us from the brink of sanity.

For a long time our house was our little sanctuary, a safe haven from the mean world of the dispatch desk, the attorneys lackluster work ethic at Jessica’s place of employment, and the triple numbers on a golf score card. It was a place Jessica and me could go and relax, take off our shoes, and just kick back. It was, in a couple of words, almost perfect. Then, one day, a pipe sprung a leak beneath the house. Being the manly man (cough cough SARCASM cough cough) that I am, I tried to fix it myself! The key word there is TRIED. I made it worse, the pipe was so corroded that as soon as I put my hands on it to tighten it back into place, it crumbled into pieces making me feel simultaneously like the strongest most foolish man on the planet. Strong enough to crush galvanized steel, yet too stupid to see the obvious. A very polite plumber came out and remedied the situation with his black magic, and as he turned to leave uttered a single cryptic phrase that I forgot about until tonight. He said: "You'll have to change out every one of those pipes before too long, it's inevitable, these old pipes are all gonna end up the same way." Then he gave his parting salutations, and leapt upon his giant stallion, black as the night...and rode off into the orange light of dusk, with flames shooting from his steeds nostrils, and leaving a trail of dust in the vast expanse. Then I forgot about it, and went back inside.

A few months later, the same kind of a problem erupted under our house. A plumber came out and fixed what needed fixing, never once mentioning to me the cryptic warning that his predecessor had spake. Once again, I turned, and went inside after paying the nice man his money.

Then, just a couple of months ago, a sound began trickling its way into our ears in the Casa De Martinez. It was the sound of...well, trickling. A small sound, and every now and again the toilet would run its little "fill the tank" routine and the sound would stop for about a minute, then it would start right back up again. Obviously this led, in its own little way, to us obtaining a brand new throne. A couple of failed easy fixes revealed that the porcelain was broken inside the workings of the toilet and that meant that it was time to mosey on down to the local Lowes and purchase the loo of our choosing. We chose wisely. We brought it home. I killed and wasted time and put off the actual act of changing out the toilet due to the fact that I had never done anything like it before, and was a bit intimidated by such a daunting task. Then, I just jumped right in.

Everything was moving along swimmingly, no pun intended, when I got to the part that I thought was going to be the easy part, changing out the cut off valve. See, this little problem presented itself soon after the trickling sound, in an effort to save water, I began turning off the water at that point to conserve. (Hey, Earth. You're welcome.) So soon I began to notice that the valve was leaking. Flash cut to tonight. All is well, the toilet is all but put in, I have even scraped the mess of the wax ring off of the old mount. I grab the pliers and twist the cutoff valve. It doesn't budge. Then I give it another more masculine try. This time, it turns. But not in the easy way a thread comes loose after years of being tightened, no. It turns in the sickening manner one might associate with, say, a broken neck. IMMEDIATELY I know something is wrong. I go outside and get under the house in all the mud, blood and the beer. (No, not actual blood or beer, just a Johnny Cash reference there folks. Just wanted to clear that up for you unenlightened types.) That's when I see it. The pipe is sitting there strangely resembling Joe Theismann’s leg. It's CLEARLY broken. So no water tonight. No baths at the house. Nothing. I tell Jessica. She cries. I feel bad.

But just think. If we had put on that toilet, left the valve the way it was and not thought about it anymore, that pipe probably would have gone on leaking and leaking costing us hundreds of dollars in water expense. To find it out tonight was kind of a (EXAGERATION ALERT) life saver. Honestly, we could have poured hundreds of our hard earned dollars into the mud beneath the house, causing mold, mud, rotting, and all kinds of other things like a steady watering hole for stray cats. Evil creatures. And thus, back to the opening scripture, like the man with the hand, I wish that tonight had never happened, I am sure he wished that his hand had NEVER withered. Or perhaps it had been withered since birth, I am sure that he wished thousands of times throughout his life that it was whole again... But that day, when Jesus healed him, it meant so much more. His hand was presented as a stumbling block, but Jesus turned it into a stepping stone, to teach more people of the TRUTH of his Father, not the legalism of a few stupid laws that man had misinterpreted in his petty and pathetically small understanding of God. And a mans hand was healed.

So, after that long winded story about a Jon and his john, remember this, if you are in a situation that just seems to be getting deeper and deeper, look at all those problems and see if maybe they aren't the light on the dashboard, showing you that something deeper needs to be fixed. God in all his mysteries could just be waiting for you to cry out his name.

Blessings.

Sorry so long. So long! Jon.

Sort of like Casino Royale...

2010-04-01T12:59:00.000-05:00

Except we aren't going ALL the way back to the beginning. Just back to the basics. God, Wife, youth ministry, job and finally Self. Now, anyone who knows me knows that to even LIST Self as the last thing either meant that I am trying to reprioritize, or that I listed those things backward. Yes, I have been selfish. I wanted to add "at times" to that sentence but that would be a ridiculous undestatement. I do need to say that I am trying. There is a fighter in me.
Here's a list of the things I am trying to do to get the old juices flowing.

Trying Contacts- Have always been frightened to death of them!
Learning to play guitar- I have always allowed myself to be discouraged after the first lesson.
Attempting to finish some old stories I have been working on for YEARS and get them published.
Reconnect with the youth without the fear of failing, or the fear that they are tired of me and can't wait to get someone new in there. In short- To love without fear.
And last but certainly most daunting to me- run a 5k with some folks from our church.

There are some other things happening, one of them being to begin blogging again with the frequency of old, Or the frequency of an old man going to the loo again and again- (the loo means the bathroom in the hipster language I created in my head. Also in australia or the UK or something) that I am just going to try and accomplish, but hopefully those will be more evident as fruits of my time and labor than of some list I put in a blog people seldom read. I am also going to try and make these shorter. No one wants to read a book, they would have bought a book if they wanted that. I seem to suffer from Diarrhea of the Mouth (many of the youth would agree) and it has traveled to my hands as of late. I can always save the other 3/4s of the blog I am writing for 3 other days instead of looking at one really long one every two years and being satisfied.

I will be back. And soon. I promise.
Your consolation prize- Jon

a contented sigh.

2008-07-02T15:31:00.000-05:00

And a praise report.
First off, an update with how things have been going with the police tryouts.

I ran on Wednesday night. In order to qualify for the entrance Physical Testing I have to run 1 1/2 miles in 14:13. Yes, that's right. Fourteen minutes and thirteen seconds. For those of you out there who are saying, "Oh come now Jon, I can walk a mile in 10 minutes! I do it all the time!" I reply to you....Great. That is really.... neat. I have to say that running WAS not something that I did on a regular basis. Those of you who know me...know this. I have to run it. I am not a runner...however, on Wednesday night July 25th, I had my first time trials. I ran it in 16:50.

That's right...Sixteen minutes and fifty seconds. So they told me to come back on June 30 to run it again. This time I would absolutely have to get it within two minutes of 14:13. So I needed 16:13 to survive. I wanted 14:13, but I would settle for anything under 16:13.

I ran.

I made a 14:43.

I am 30 seconds shy. I get one more opportunity on Monday morning. 9am. I can do this. Pray for me. I got the push ups and sit ups down! Also. I heard some exciting news through scuttlebutt at work today but have yet to recieve official confirmation from the Sgt in charge of the try outs. As soon as I get that, I will post it here!

I was sitting on the bed right before this second run and Jessica m beautiful wife was massaging my back, a source of pain and slowness on my first run. Kaiser ran up and over me on the bed and plopped his self right on down. He stretched his little paws out and kinda yawned. Then he was just still. There was sort of a tiny dog smile on his face, and then he just sighed. I felt great knowing that he could just come in there, trust us enough to nod off and chill out next to us. Not expecting to be petted or a treat or anything, he just wanted to be near us.

I wonder if God ever just wants that from us. Just to sit there and be with Him. I guess so or He would never have said in His word "Be still and know that I am God." Try that sometime, just think of all that He has brought you through and all He has done for you...and just be there with him. Where ever you are. He's always there. If you are in good times or in bad times...Just be there with Him. put your head on His (proverbial) shoulder and sigh.

Go see my new video on my myspace. It's the trailer for the new Bond. SWEET.
jon

A nice big fat lazy dog.

2008-06-20T17:30:00.001-05:00

To say that I am content would be an understatement. To say that I am happy would hit a little closer to home.

I have been reviewing my life thus far and have come to the conclusion that I am blessed.

I visited home last weekend and hung out with my fam and my dad for fathers day. The original reason I wanted to go was to see my grandfather, who promptly left town. See my friends grandfather died and I didn't want the next time I saw my grandfather or grandmother to be in their death beds...or coffins. So off me and my blessing of a family went...Jessica, Kaiser and Myself to the great far away of Lubbock Texas. I was happy to keep the trip tho because God arranged for me to get in some INCREDIBLE quality time with my parents. Mom and Dad, who for the longest time have been heckling me and my wife for a grandchild no longer have to wait on us....BIG NEWS on the Nathan Martinez front... my little brother is going to be a FATHER!!! this is a HUGE WOOT! yet it is still early...so we play the waiting game until Nathan Jr. pops out. or Jean Jr.

I'm listening to the rain outside. It is pouring down in a torrent. I am amazed at how constantly God provides. Pineville city officials have been contemplating a water...not ban...but uh...i forget the word... anyway, restraint.... to conserve what we have in our reserves. I started to think, the animals don't have a water reserve, nor do the trees. The grass has none either. Then the rains came. The things of this earth don't have a water reserve not because they lack the understanding (i've seen ants smarter than some people), not because of the lack of opposable thumbs... (i saw a monkey pick his nose and scratch his butt with the same foot!), but because they know...beyond any other thing that WE think they should know...THAT GOD WILL BE THERE FOR THEM. Now the wisdom we see in the ants and squirrels that horde food and dodge shoes and shotguns, respectively, is that they know even better than we do...that even tho God is always there.... They need to care for what HE has given them, so that they will live to be there for His next giving. He will always be there and He will always give... but if we don't take care of ourselves and the things he has blessed us with...we may not be able to recieve or even enjoy what He gives when He gives it.

So take this any way you will...

I know that even by typing it I have learned what God was telling me about me.
Hope you enjoy the rain...it's always there.

In other news, I had my Police Board Interview, it was fairly brutal. They really hammered in on the fact that many of them sincerely believe that Christianity and Police work don't go together.

But we'll see when I am wearing the badge how it affects me.

Keep me in prayer...I still have to move this 210 pound body one and a half miles in just fourteen minutes and thirteen seconds.

"But that bird doesn't have any wings...and it's only got one leg."Bret McKenzie
Jon

What a LAG!!

2008-06-09T17:47:00.000-05:00

I am a horrible blogger. Absolutely. I mean I get all used to writing every couple of days and then every day, but then....I stop... Forever. lol, well I guess not forever...I am blogging now!
So a buttload of stuff has happened since I was on here last. Most recently I got into Flight of The Conchords....pretty much addicted to them. I had seen their live show on HBO or a rebroadcast on Comedy Central and laughed myself silly... but I just rediscovered them and ordered their first season on DVD cause I really am quite addicted. Folks, really, even tho I am gushing about them, watch at your own risk cause they have some parts that some of you elder guard may want to ease your kids outta the room on some parts. Anyway. Got to meet my sister in laws boyfriend. Pretty swell guy. not to bad at all. Way to go Maddie!

In the youth group I have been trying to make sure that they are reading the Word on their own at home... you gotta have that time in the word. And NO. You cannot change the name of your bed to THE WORD and tell me that you will be spending much more time in THE WORD.... lol.

Jessica and I are headed to Lubbock this weekend for Fathers Day. I wanted to spend some time with my Grandpa but he apparently will be on the way to South Texas. Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but He has had quite a few heart procedures done in the past couple of WEEKS and will be driving all the way BY HIMSELF.... sigh. I pray that nothing happens to him. He will be 95 this September. So...anyway. I will get to spend some time with my fam and hang out a bit.

Looking forward to it.

ummm not much else going on....?

if I forgot something Jess...let me know.

"Get your hand off of my tail, you'll make it dirty."
jon

Interestingly enough...

2008-05-02T14:45:00.000-05:00

So, the past couple of days have been interestingly tied together by things going on in my spirit and by Gods mighty hand. You see, yesterday I read in 1 Chronicles 11:10-19 about King Davids three greatest warriors. These are the men who, when they heard their king say that He wanted a drink of the sweet water from the well by the gate of Bethlehem, took action and fought through enemy lines to bring him some of that water. A stirring in many of us longs for this. To be at the Kings side when he speaks and to ride through certain death to fulfill that wish or command of his. I know I certainly want that, for the warrior sweat to drip from my brow, muscles tired and beaten, hands blistered from wielding sword, arm sore from holding shield, out of breath as I hand my King whatever He desires. This stirring pulls at all of us in a way, I think. It's just that this world has perverted it. They've tricked us into thinking that we will be happy if we satisfy all of our own desires instead of living for something far greater than yourself!

AH!
There In Lies The Rub! (as the bard would undoubtedly say) There is a cost to be payed for such a thing. This mornings reading came from Luke 9:57-62, which tells us about some that were following Jesus and His instruction to them, "LEAVE EVERYTHING AND FOLLOW ME" (jons Paraphrase) There is the amazing cost of being a warrior in the highest army. Everything this world tells us to do is for our immediate gratification. God tells us to live for more and that is done by living for less. Make sense? Think of it this way, of all the hosts of Israel there was a handful who had what it took to be called the greatest of Davids warriors. Of all the times we hear of someone asking to follow Jesus, only twelve can stick to it. It costs a great deal to be counted among the greatest, to have your name etched in stone for eternity to remember, it takes your life. Are you ready for that challenge? I think I am. I have pledged to fight along side Pastor Nathan..

I handed Pastor Nathan my sword and let him know I would fight next to him no matter what. Do I tell you this out of pride? NO! I tell you this out of fear! Fear that I will fail miserably, (which has happened in the past with this same ministry, But thank God for His healing and grace.) Fear that I don't have what it takes. I wonder if Davids Warriors ever stopped to think, as the swords clashed and rang around them that they were doing this all for a GLASS OF WATER! But then, every now and then, a young person will have an encounter with the Living God, and I am treated to giving my King a precious drink of water, and I realize that
of course they knew they were fighting for a glass of water...
The King was thirsty.

The King IS thirsty, do you and I have what it takes to get Him a glass of that sweet water? It's gonna take everything we have and then some more... The water is that way, just past the enemy lines... who's coming with me?

Jon

PALS

2008-04-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

Legend has it that after Billy the Kids gang was disbanded and he was shot by Sheriff Pat Garret in the dark, unarmed, he was buried at the graveyard at Old Fort Sumner. Sources say that someone snuck in and chisled a one word epitaph that read "Pals".

I guess I've always had a fondness for Billy the Kid. When I was young I thought "Well HEY! I'm a kid too!!! We have so much in common!" Then when the movie Young Guns was released and I finally pestered my pop enough to let me watch it, it of course deepened my affinity for the wise cracking, loyal, fast drawing (and HIGHLY romanticized) outlaw. But I'm not writing this blog to tell you about Billy the Kid. I am writing to tell you about friends and blessings.

Recently our church started back up an older ministry they had called 4x4s. It is when you are assigned to 3 other couples (4 couples in all for you math majors out there) and are given 4 months (get it? 4x4? eh? pretty nifty huh?) and must meet AT LEAST once a month at each couples suggested place or event. In my group there was Jessica and I, Kyle and Heather, AJ and Ashley, and Robert and Cheryl Gauthier. Now this was kinda neat cause me and Robert and Kyle all already hung out before the reinstatement of 4x4s, so that was fun, also each of our respective wives already had a relationship with each of the other ladies except Ashley. But the real suprise firecracker here is the friendship that has fired up between Kyle, AJ, and myself! (Ashley and Jessica have hit it off and become BFFs. whatever that means.) Well, last night (tuesday night) these guys came over to the house and helped me (tho they may tell you I occasionally helped them and they did most of it) rip up the carpet in the living room and replace it with the laminate wood floors that are currently all the rage.

Kyle knew most of any of us what he was doing having just installed the same type of floor in his home and started us off with a bang and a whirlwind of action. AJ tore right into it as well and they were really working well together and the bad part is...I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO! So I got a little bit defensive at these two younger fellas coming into MY house and doing a better job that ME! Now at this point, I had two choices: Get all sulky and a small attitude, or learn what they were teaching me and GO! Sadly I must confess that I chose the former. I got all sulky and a small attitude. Here's the great thing tho, instead of returning my sourness, these guys called me out on it! They could have acted mad and immature (like me) yet they just were really patient with me and helped me get into the groove (pun intended) of laying these floors down! We had a great time, finished up all but 1 piece in the living room (ran outta material), and I ended up having a great evening working side by side these two great young men.

I wish I would have known AJ better at the time me and Jessica got married. I would have asked him to stand next to me on that day. He has joined the very short list of the best men that I know. Kyle also! He actually called me up this morning and called me out on some stuff I had said to him outside as he showed me up on the manly power tools. He just reassured me that I had no reason to be insecure (really all it was!) about these things. I am learning them the same as everyone else! Just a bit later than most.

Hopefully going on my first varmint shoot next month, also gonna cut down some trees that need clearing. Thanks to my friends I'm exploring all these things and sides of myself that I normally wouldn't if I was all by myself! I am also discovering myself on the husband front, but that is another entry ENTIRELY. lol.

AJ, Kyle, I am honored to call you my friends. I thank God for each of you and your wives. I'm sorry for last night and I thank you for everything. I am at your service as readily as you were at mine.

PALS.

jon

a stretch of time

2008-04-19T10:05:00.000-05:00

has passed since we last met here. I have missed you, however, my brain has been adrift in the sea of BLANKNESS... I couldn't write something to save my life. So I'm just hitting the keys and seeing what comes out. This appears to be (in my eyes anyway) an act of desperation, and the camera pans out, out through the roof of the church office where Jon sits typing, above hundreds of trees in the surrounding community, up even higher till we see pineville and alexandria from a birds eye view thousands of feet up and then we hear the tiniest of voices cry out...."I'VE GOT IT!" and we are drawn (rather forcefully) back into jons head and staring back out of his eyes into the vacuous computer monitor and he begins to type.

So I started working out again recently. And I am feeling the bittersweet feeling of having muscles so sore that i can barely move them. I have also been text messaging two young ladies that appear to be having identical friend problems. I have been struck by a parallel that hit me rather forcefully, you see, when you were with my brain up in The Air Up There, I stretched and was greeted by a feeling like a dozen ball peen hammers sriking me in the immediate shoulder, chest and bicep area. It was a good feeling, but boy did it hurt! I have been thinking that these young ladies are going through some pretty common teenage young lady problems with their respective friend, and I was wondering why that particular time of our life is seemingly so difficult. Then I was remided of the scripture in James chapter 1. He reminds us in verse 2--

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

See, what he is saying here is that in all walks of our lives, we have to go through some crap. or junk, or stuff, (use whichever is the least offensive to you, they all mean the same thing) so that we can learn how to take all the crapjunkstuff that LIFE is going to throw at us ALL THE TIME! I remember when I was younger and I thought that life was SOO HARD...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I had it made when I was a kid, I didn't have to worry about a thing!!!!

I don't think we fully realize that until we are pushing 30 and wondering how on earth I made that stupid mistake with the bank account. (AND, all of this with the possibility ((POSSIBILITY)) of a baby on the horizon! ((i put this in here because when you're married there is ALWAYS that POSSIBILITY- I am not trying to subtley tell you that me and jessica are expecting, because to the best of my knowledge WE ARE NOT))...) I think we are told by James to learn to buck up when a friend says something bad about ya, or maybe you got jipped a little on that super awesome thing that was supposed to happen with your buds, and you got blown off... guys life kinda sucks...but it has to sometimes so that you can get STRONGER! I SEE THE POINT! I SEE THE POINT. THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I SEE THE POINT TO THIS BLOG!

See I opened up by telling you that I was in pain. But the thing is, the way our bodies are built, in order to get them better or stronger, sometimes IT HAS TO SUCK! Sometimes it has to hurt, it has to groan and stretch in uncomfortable ways. Just like we have to in order to become who God wants for us to be in His ultimate plan. There is not a single person in the bible who didn't go through some sort of MASSIVE trauma so that Gods will could be done in their lives. Does this make God a masochist? NO!!! Of course you will always have your "Overly persecuted" few that want to cry that we serve a cruel God or that He doesn't care about us because they had to go through something a bit harder than they are used to....guys it is NOT because we serve a cruel God (which we do NOT!) but it is because HE WANTS YOU TO BE BETTER!!! STRONGER!!!! MORE INCREDIBLE-ER.... you get the picture.

Take the scripture in this blog to heart... it will do you far more good to remember it on days that the sun just can't break through the clouds. (completely metaphorically speaking of course, i love my cloudy days...weather wise of course) I hope this has been of some encouragement to you. It has helped me IMMENSELY.
good day and God Bless.